Justice for Burberry (the Dog)

It’s hard to think of a dog in recent pop culture memory that’s been done as dirty as Burberry from Beef’s second season. Not just because he’s saddled with two owners, Lindsay Crane (Carey Mulligan) and Joshua Martín (Oscar Isaac), who are constantly fighting and bickering with one another—thereby totally fucking up his energy. But also because, out of all the sentient beings in the show, he is the most innocent and blameless, yet is dealt one of the cruelest hands as a result of the ensuing beef between the Lindsay/Joshua and a younger, less well-off couple: Ashley (Cailee Spaeny) and Austin (Charles Melton).

Burberry’s sweetness can be seen from the moment he appears in the first episode, “All the Things We’re Never Going to Have,” just under four minutes in. Lying on an ottoman with an air of uneasy peace about him, he raises his head when Lindsay raises her voice even higher to berate Josh, “We’ve had a fucking herb garden on our to-do list for five years!” This in reference to the “bespoke bed and breakfast” the couple is supposed to have started together.

Alas, Josh’s “real” job as the manager of a tony Montecito country club called Monte Vista Point seems to keep getting in the way of their plans. Or, more accurately, Lindsay’s plans, with Josh reminding her that someone has to bring home an income to keep this dream alive. And as their fight moves from outside and then to Josh’s “shed” (a.k.a. “man cave”), Lindsay keeps holding their twelve-year-old dachshund (played by a dog named Jones) in her arms almost like a defense mechanism. A reminder that he is the equivalent of their child (this in itself being a nod to how “millennials” [or really anyone with enough sense not to bring another person into this world] are more likely to have “pet children” than real children).

As Josh starts scattering mulch to spite Lindsay’s accusation that they haven’t “done enough” to get their plan off the ground, he continues to berate her for doing nothing of value. Instead only complaining about what’s wrong. Lindsay is quick to refute, “I do plenty around here.” Josh counters, “Other than feed Burberry? Nope.” And so it is that just under the six-minute mark, the dog is brought further to life as a full-on character with his name being bandied like he’s their son. More to the point, like a son who gets used as a weapon between an arguing married couple. Hence, Burberry again comes into the equation of the argument when Lindsay plunks him down forcefully as if he’s discarded refuse so she can lay into Josh with more fervor.

Josh then insults Burberry’s significance in their life by eventually screaming, “Thank god we didn’t have kids!” as he takes a golf club away from her (for she’s grabbed one to start smashing up the glass of his hung frames [along with his guitar] and then comes at Josh with it) and tries to brandish it himself, causing Burberry to bark with urgency—thereby proving his true loyalty is with Lindsay (for every dog has an alpha they bow to more than the beta).

It’s at that moment when Josh and Lindsay realize they’re being observed by Ashley and Austin (who’ve been instructed to return Josh’s wallet, as he left it at the club after a fundraiser), causing Josh to freeze “mid-hit.” Though it’s doubtful he actually would have gone through with hitting her with the club even if he hadn’t been interrupted. This sets off a chain of events that lead Josh and Lindsay to readily fall into the blackmail trap that Ashley and Austin lay for them (having shrewdly filmed the incident on Ashley’s phone), with Josh getting strong-armed into giving Ashley a vague executive position (that of course pays more than her current role as a “beverage cart attendant”).

Yet, despite getting what she wanted (or thought she wanted) out of Josh with her blackmail, her desire for more doesn’t cease. Namely, when it comes to wanting revenge. Because she subsequently blames Josh for having to get her ovary removed during emergency surgery (which means she wasn’t even conscious to be told that’s what was going to happen). All because she feels he could have helped her cut through the red tape in the waiting room of the hospital if he had wanted to instead of, in turn, trying to strong-arm her into deleting the video of his and Lindsay’s heated argument.

Thus, she “ends up” (or rather, deliberately goes there and waits until everyone is gone) at Josh and Lindsay’s house at the end of episode four, “Oh, the Comfort, the Inexpressible Comfort.” Whereupon she encounters Burberry, who yippily barks at her when she first enters, but naturally, wouldn’t hurt a fly (or an ant, seeing as how that’s the recurring bug motif in this series). Especially since Ashley pets him affectionately as she says in dulcet tones, “I’m gonna bring your dad down, yes I am. I’m gonna tear your family apart. And then I’m gonna adopt you and you raise you as my own.” She then goes about “messing with their house” as she later calls it by taking pictures of some incriminating invoices and shoving her hand in her recently-operated-on crotch to mix some of her blood into Josh’s pitcher of orange juice, finishing the job just as Burberry barks at the sound of a car door opening outside.

Running out in a mad dash, Ashley doesn’t bother to look behind her to see if the screen door is fully closed, leaving enough of an opening for Burberry to trot out, as if he leaves the house all the time when, in fact, he’s not even remotely prepared for the big, bad world beyond. Particularly since his “parents” pamper him so much, as made immediately clear by his vast wardrobe, always outfitted in nice sweaters (and sometimes, of course, he even sports a Burberry pattern). Ones that may protect him from the cold, but hardly from predators like coyotes—which abound in California.

Tragically, that’s the doomed fate Burberry will meet out there in the wild. But not before episode five, “I Am Killing My Flesh Without It,” which opens on the bittersweet shot of Josh and Lindsay’s refrigerator bearing Burberry’s “recommended feeding schedule and routine” affixed to it with a magnet. When Lindsay walks into the house just as Josh is wrapping a phone call, he asks her where Burberry is, to which she insists, “He’s home with you.” Josh refutes that with, “No, he was with you.” And so their mutual panic alarms are set off as they start screaming his name, only to notice that the door was left open and that he won’t be found anywhere in the house.

The entire episode then unfolds as a frantic search—on Lindsay’s part—to find their “son.” This while Josh ends up being taken on a mini trip to a ski chalet in Utah by Troy (William Fichtner), where a live performance from Hot Chip (a band that gets plenty of love in this series) helps to distract him from the pain of the loss. Not to mention the fact that they’ve just adopted a lookalike dog after being coerced into doing so when they went into a shelter to follow up on a supposedly surefire lead.

Meanwhile, Lindsay continues her search efforts with the help of Ashley, who knows it’s her fault that Burberry has gone missing (but of course can’t say so aloud, not even to Austin). By the end of the episode, Lindsay is the last person standing in the search. And when even she is about to give up, she hears Burberry in the woods, getting close enough to the sound to see that he’s been taken into the clutches of a coyote. That’s when Lindsay goes all “mama bear” protective, shouting at the coyote to “fuck off” before unthinkingly grabbing it and slamming it against a rock when it tries to attack again.

Unfortunately, the coyote’s death is in vain. For even though it looks as if Burberry might be only “hurt” from the injuries he sustained, after sitting in the waiting room of the veterinarian’s office with Josh, it’s soon announced that Burberry didn’t make it. This just after Lindsay and Josh both agreed that they need a divorce. That things simply aren’t “working out” between them. So it is that Burberry’s death confirms there really is nothing binding them together anymore. And this is part of the reason the dog deserved better. For his main purpose in Beef is to serve as a token symbol of a fledgling relationship. The glue that can no longer hold them together because he no longer exists to do so.

What’s more, Lindsay refuses to warm to “Burberry II” as the season goes on. For there is no “substitute” or “replacement” as far as she’s concerned. This, in its own way, being another subtle railing against capitalism in the show. For this is a system that insists anything and anyone is replaceable. However, that isn’t so for Lindsay—even if Josh is more open to the idea, taking Burberry II on as his own once they officially go their separate ways. Ironically enough, though, Josh will turn out to be plenty replaceable to Lindsay by the end of the season, a sentiment that isn’t reciprocated by Josh.