With “Hate That I Made You Love Me,” Ariana Grande Offers a Song That Could Have Been Written From Taylor Swift’s Perspective

After rightfully prolonging the Eternal Sunshine era (complete with releasing the deluxe edition a year after the original version of the album), and then (/in conjunction with), the Wicked era, Ariana Grande has returned with “Hate That I Made You Love Me,” the first single from what will be her eighth album, Petal. And, in case one couldn’t tell from the song title, it’s dripping with more than a hint of sarcasm as Grande chides those who would blame her for “stealing” men/generally being some kind of Jezebel. A motif that has also, in its way, been a constant throughout Taylor Swift’s career/songwriting tendencies (e.g., “Boys only want love if it’s torture/Don’t say I didn’t, say I didn’t warn ya” [from “Blank Space”) and “I’ve been breakin’ hearts a long time/And toyin’ with them older guys/Just playthings for me to use” [from “Don’t Blame Me”). Well, not so much that she “steals” men, but that she merely dates a lot of them. Though because of her “pure” and “beloved” status, she gets the purported benefit of being branded a “serial monogamist” rather than a “slut” (though Swift does have a song called that—albeit with an exclamation point—on the “Taylor’s Version” of 1989).

Grande, on the other hand, has rarely been afforded the same “luxury.” Especially not after the way her latest/ongoing relationship with Ethan Slater began. Which, even now, hasn’t been forgotten by the public, still keen to bill her as a “homewrecker” even though, to be precise, the two allegedly didn’t enter into a romantic relationship until after separating from their respective spouses. And while the public could have lashed out at Slater for “ripping apart” Grande’s home with Dalton Gomez (the primary subject of Eternal Sunshine), they instead lashed out at Grande for ripping apart Slater’s. Not just because the woman in the “cheating” permutation is always easier to blame (except when David Harbour is involved), but because Slater’s wife—and high school sweetheart no less—had recently given birth to their son, making the relationship between him and Grande that much more scandalous and prompting the kind of “chatter” that led Grande to release 2024’s “yes, and?”

In fact, “Hate That I Made You Love Me” does share a certain DNA with that song, though certainly not in sound. For while “yes, and?” was a fast-tempo, house-inspired (not to mention “Vogue”-inspired) banger, “Hate That I Made You Love Me” immediately establishes itself as something more in the mid-tempo genre with its dreamy/video game-y intro. Co-produced by Grande, Ilya and Max Martin, the song also has certain tonal and sonic similarities to “twilight zone.” Except, whereas Grande is genuinely contrite throughout that song, it’s more immediately apparent that she has an ax to grind with “Hate That I Made You Love Me” as she begins the song with, “I can’t tell you why/But somethin’ inside is dancin’ with fire/Eyes lit like the sky/Turned tears into diamonds/Got good at goodbyes.”

“Turning tears into diamonds” can, of course, not only refer to her diamond certifications in record sales (albeit for the upbeat tracks “Bang Bang” and “7 Rings”), but also the fact that she’s frequently channeled the pain of her traumas into music (particularly making it into an antidote for thank u, next). Whether that trauma was the Manchester Arena bombing during her Dangerous Woman Tour, the loss of Mac Miller, the quick engagement to and equally as quick breakup with Pete Davidson, her divorce from Dalton Gomez or the recent death of her beloved grandmother, Marjorie. A name, incidentally, shared by Taylor Swift’s own deceased grandmother, for whom Swift even wrote a song called “Marjorie” (so one supposes Grande would have to call her tribute track something like “Nonna” instead).

And now, with “Hate That I Made You Love Me,” the connections between these two pop stars seem to have amplified, with one being able to easily hear such lines as, “Just know that I will find my way from you/Like flowers from a tomb/While you decide who you are” (or, as Madonna puts it on “Hung Up,” “I can’t keep on waiting for you/I know that you’re still hesitating/Don’t cry for me/‘Cause I’ll find my way/You’ll wake up one day/But it’ll be too late”), “You studied my crown/And borrowed my body” and “Why you so hate to see women endure?/Is it really my fault you all gave me your hearts/Of your own accord?” coming from Swift’s perennially red lips. Perhaps because Martin worked so recently with Swift on The Life of a Showgirl, there’s also more than a whiff of her “done wrong”/“I am the victim, but I’m not a victim” aura to Grande’s “not my fault”-type single.

And yes, talking of “Not My Fault,” Grande’s lead single from Petal does also bear a thematic and lyrical tie to Reneé Rapp and Megan Thee Stallion’s song of the same name (which just repurposes what Cady Heron said in Mean Girls: “It’s not my fault you’re, like, in love with me”). To that point, the essence of Swift’s “Actually Romantic” (again, a Max Martin co-written and co-produced song from The Life of a Showgirl), which speaks about “someone” (i.e., Charli XCX) being obsessed with her and how it’s not really her fault if that’s the case is aligned with the tongue-in-cheek slant of Grande’s latest. An undercutting diss track that reframes the constant “shaming” of her actions—that is, when they pertain to her romances—as something that ought to be reconsidered. Or, at the very least, considered as a “two-way street,” with both interested parties being held up on the proverbial chopping block in the court of public opinion.

In its “foil” manner, Rihanna’s 2007 single featuring Ne-Yo, “Hate That I Love You,” offers a title that suggests what men ought to be saying to themselves when they fall for Grande. Who would instead respond with a glib, “Hate That I Made You Love Me.” Even though, as she says herself, “I can see right through/Like shadows on the moon [she does love her moon imagery]/And it’s all bad news.” Or, more accurately, it all becomes bad news…about her. As opposed to the media and the public at large taking into account how much their contempt for her so-called temptress ways is rooted in misogyny. Allowing for any philandering man that “strays” for the sake of being with her a complete pass. However, with “Hate That I Made You Love Me,” Grande is sardonically reminding people that, to use a cliché that Swift would be likely to put in one of her songs: “It takes two to tango.”