In a series called Mondo Ironico, let us discuss how fucking antithetical something in pop culture is (in this case, to the present state of male fashion).
In Amy Heckerling’s seminal 1995 film, Clueless, Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) gives the famed voiceover (one of many) that goes, “So okay, I don’t wanna be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants, take their greasy hair—ew—and cover it up with a backwards cap and, like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.”
Little did she know, this would turn out to be arguably the last period in history when boys/men actually had any kind of definitive style to speak of. In fact, the shot of five dudes (as Mott the Hoople’s “All the Young Dudes” plays) strolling down the pavement of Bronson Alcott High School wearing assorted levels of crazy nonsense is something a girl could only hope and dream of seeing today in this wasteland of anyone having a sense of daring and/or bombastic personal style.
Though, granted, it is a little too much to see a white guy sporting a shirt that reads, “Damn right! I have an attitude. MY people worked 400 years without a paycheck. Reparations are due” with the image of a Black man dressed in the style that Cher abhors next to the text. However, this shirt doesn’t seem to bother an actual Black student (sporting a Kangol hat) walking in lockstep with the others. Then again, he might just be far too engrossed in talking on his cell phone (then still a “flip” style) to notice. And while Cher is right—all of them are wearing backwards hats (whether baseball or “Kangol-style”) with unwashed hair that peeks out the side—the “aesthetic” at least displays some level of personality. And, compared to today’s sexless world, virility. Especially when pitted against the “blob”/“blah” blokes one sees on the internet (because “real life” no longer exists) today.
Yet, ironically enough, it’s the kind of 90s fashion that Cher despised in the man-boys of her generation that Gen Z man-boys are mostly trying to emulate with their “own” fashions. Only the attempt is failing miserably/falling entirely flat. Not least of which is because the generation du moment seems to be endlessly afraid of non-monochromatic colors. As if they might actually be allergic to ever “deigning” to sport such a look as part of the style they’re blatantly trying to graft from the 90s. But the same lust for baggy silhouettes, hoodies and generally oversized “streetwear” remains.
So if there were ever to be a reboot of Clueless (which there very well could be since no film is safe or sacred enough to be spared), the “new” Cher wouldn’t have much better luck with/things to say about the available hetero male “options.” Indeed, part of the reason she’s lamenting the state of male fashion in the first place is because, in the scene just before the series of shots showing how “ick” these boys are meant to look for dressing so sloppily, Dionne (Stacey Dash) is explaining to Tai (Brittany Murphy) that the real reason Cher is still a virgin (or “hymenally challenged,” as Dionne corrects) is because she’s too…particular. And apparently saving herself for Luke Perry (for whom there is no “Gen Z equivalent”—‘cause it ain’t Timothée Chalamet or Jacob Elordi).
And even Cher can admit that Dion isn’t wrong, explaining to both of them, “You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet.” To be sure, Cher might have been one of many 90s women that blazed a trail for not settling, preferring to either stay single/a virgin rather than compromise her standards. In the current landscape, such “stubbornness” has translated to, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” The answer is, of course: by and large. With rare exceptions to the rule (though none come to mind right this second).
Ones that, per Cher’s criteria, did not extend to those with sartorial predilections that ranged only from exposed boxers and sagging pants to the greasy hair inside a backwards baseball cap (in effect, the “sk8r boi” look, as Avril Lavigne would probably later call it). And yet, regrading these examples of male dressing carelessness now, said men appear positively fashion-forward in contrast to what’s paraded au présent.
Okay, so maybe “dapper” isn’t necessarily the word. But “vivacious,” “original” and/or “avant-garde” might be. For the 90s constituted one of the last times that a generation’s clothing choices weren’t looking solely to the past for “inspiration” (for although the 90s definitely took plenty of cues from the 70s, it still very much had its singular style). Instead, creating something entirely their own. Which is now being repurposed in a “hack job” sort of way thanks to various bastardized trends of yore that have gained enough traction on TikTok to be deemed “repurposable.” Much to Cher’s chagrin.
