“I Keep My Side of the Street Clean”—Not!: Taylor Swift’s Garbage (Not to Be Confused With Taylor Swift Is Garbage)

Like most things that the hoi polloi are expected to endure/“deal with,” celebrities and the otherwise wealthy are not. For someone of Taylor Swift’s caliber (financially speaking), that certainly applies tenfold. And if that wasn’t already made apparent from the public release of her carbon footprint that reported her as emitting 8,293.54 tonnes of carbon a year thanks to private jet-setting alone, then maybe her latest example of “It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me” will make it undeniably clear. And that is: her blasé attitude about trash. More specifically, disposing of it in a manner that would be expected of a “plebe.”

But before we get to that, let us remember that Swift perhaps ultimately skirted a full-tilt backlash against the private jet controversy by claiming that the majority of the flights taken were a result of loaning out her jet. As though that somehow made her inculpable just because her bony ass allegedly wasn’t in the seat. What’s more, the report of Swift’s numerous flights came out at the same time as records of Kylie Jenner’s twenty-minute flights were released. Flights that could have been a slightly longer drive between Riverside and L.A. Counties. Jenner confirmed her own outrageous behavior by posting an image she thought was going to “serve” in July of 2022—featuring her in “Hollywood embrace” pose with her equally atrocious baby daddy, Travis Scott, as the two stood in between their respective private jets, captioned with the braggadocious question, “You wanna take mine or yours?”

With Jenner being instantly lambasted as a climate criminal (where’s the lie?), Swift’s crown as the reigning queen of private jet usage ultimately got lost in the shuffle of broad-spectrum outrage over private plane rides (with Britney Spears perhaps being the only one to get a “pass” as a result of all she’s been through). And any thoughts of Swift as someone “criminal” eventually “petered out” once she released another album, and America was reminded again of just how much they love their sweetheart (grotesque little CO2 emitter or not). Even if, with Midnights, it seemed Taylor was actually trolling people a bit with a line (from the climate change-y “Snow on the Beach” no less) like, “And my flight was awful/Thanks for asking.” Of course, that’s hard to believe when considering the lavish accommodations of a private jet she calls “The Number 13.” A number she has long considered to be lucky, as a matter of fact—referencing it in songs and videos galore and, as mentioned, opting to brandish it as the moniker of her personal plane, to boot. So yeah, if it ever crashed, that surely might change her views on the digit bearing something like luck, rendering her just another average person with a case of triskaidekaphobia.

But getting to her latest case of environmentally-unfriendly behavior, Swift has come under fire (mainly by the New York Sanitation Department) for her less than exemplary “disposal” methods. To that end, ironically enough, Swift also boasts on Midnights (during “Karma”), “I keep my side of the street clean/You wouldn’t know what I mean.” Evidently, she’s the one who doesn’t even know what she means, relying on the tried-and-true “just make it go away with money” method that most celebrities are inclined to. After all, what’s the point of being a celebrity if you can’t enjoy such “perks” in exchange for the violation of your privacy? Such perks being to pay thousands of dollars in fines to avoid actually keeping your side of the street clean—all while your privacy is invaded by way of habits being revealed through the exposure of your trash. Something that media outlets are only too happy to report on (including, but not limited to, the presence of liquor bottles and cigarettes butts…how Olsen twins circa the 00s-esque).

Nonetheless, it doesn’t seem to bother Swift that much. Or at least not enough to clean up a.k.a. hire someone else to do the job. For, as of July 2023, Swift has been ticketed thirty-two times by the New York Sanitation Department and fined roughly three thousand dollars (which amounts to three cents for a person of Swift’s echelon) for her inability 1) dispose of her trash correctly, 2) failing to keep the front area of her building clean and 3) generally parading a dirty sidewalk year-round—regardless of being on tour or not. Considering Swift essentially “owns” the block she inhabits on Franklin Street in Tribeca, she’s the only one responsible for “keeping this place clean,” to quote Prince’s dad in Purple Rain.

Naturally, Swifties were quick to come to the defense of their beloved “mother,” assuring, “It’s probably the fans waiting for her and smoking while they’re bored.” Whether that’s true or not, it doesn’t change the reality that Swift is the one responsible for maintaining the cleanliness of the block she’s made her own private island on an island. What’s more, who’s to say that she doesn’t smoke now and again? For, despite her “squeaky clean” image—complete with the blonde-haired, blue-eyed Aryan aesthetic—Swift has broken away from it in the years since she went from country to pop star, going on to—gasp!—swear in her lyrics and openly drink in public/on camera (her affinity for wine being well-known by now). Indeed, her love of the drink is just about the only thing that’s made her a “baddie,” while her foil, Lana Del Rey, instead relies on vaping and smoking since she gave up drinking long ago after her teenage bout with alcoholism. In short, regardless of her fans’ disbelief that “pure” Taylor could bear such trash herself, the report stating that “there are cigarette packs, stacks of newspapers, liquor bottles, cardboard boxes and ashtrays scattered on the sidewalk” actually does jive with Swift’s lifestyle, as well as the company she keeps. Being so convinced she’s a “New York bohemian” and all.

Those who aren’t defending her and trying to say it’s not her fault (including Swift herself, who seems to be fighting the charges on “principle” alone—because, again, 3K is nothing to her) are instead commending the “bad bitch” contents of her waste. Namely, Charli XCX, who retweeted one of the headlines about Swift’s trash with the caption, “My kinda girl.” And yet, increasingly, Swift has proven herself to be no one’s kind of girl. At least not in terms of displaying the level of consideration required of somebody who wants to truly set an example for others about not being so reckless with the climate’s well-being just because you “can be”/claim you “have to be” (“for work”). Alas, money is a celebrity’s multifaceted superpower as much as any corporate shill at the top of the company food chain. A “superpower” that serves as the driving force behind why the environment continues to be pillaged and violated in such vast and ceaseless ways. Then again, perhaps Swift should be commended for ultimately helping to “end” New York sooner.

Genna Rivieccio http://culledculture.com

Genna Rivieccio writes for myriad blogs, mainly this one, The Burning Bush, Missing A Dick, The Airship and Meditations on Misery.

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