One thing about Miley Cyrus is that she wants you to know she’s down for whatever and, accordingly, whoever. Among those who would like everyone to be aware of her “pansexuality.” And yet, in the years since that grand announcement, we’ve seen Cyrus dabble primarily in men (more to the point, men who look like they were sculpted out of marble). Oh right, and then there was a brief dalliance with Kaitlynn Carter (long after an even briefer one with Stella Maxwell). So, yes, like the song from Katy Perry she inspired, “I Kissed A Girl,” Cyrus’ “leanings” toward the female sex feel primarily geared toward the thrill of the “novelty.” And while there’s nothing wrong with Cyrus playing mostly straight, it’s just that, by putting a big pansexuality sign over herself, she’s “unwittingly” (apparently) placed a larger responsibility on her shoulders to convey imagery and messaging that isn’t so, well, traditional.
While it’s still “progressive” for a woman to show herself being pleasured by multiple men (a jarring thought for the patriarchy, who wants the concept of harems all to themselves), there is nothing new or exciting in what Cyrus is showcasing throughout a video that is, theoretically, meant to be drowning in sexual innuendo. That video, of course, being “River,” the second single from Endless Summer Vacation, and one that is in direct conflict with “Flowers” (save for the correlation that water does tend to make flowers “bud” and flourish). But that’s simply in keeping with the many mixed messages on the record, all of which speak to the “pan” personality of a Sagittarius (unless you’re of the fairly consistent and straightforward varietal of the sign à la “The Archer” known as Taylor Swift).
Shot in black and white, the video channels elements of Madonna’s “Cherish” (providing far more wetness, to be honest) and “Vogue,” but most especially her 2012 single, “Girl Gone Wild.” In it, she is surrounded by muscular men aplenty as well. The difference is, they aren’t so fucking butch. More to the point, the members of Ukrainian boy band Kazaky are among the male backup dancers wearing tight pants and heels as Madonna plays up the notion that boys can be girls gone wild, too (particularly when they’re gay). No stranger to less intelligently emulating Madonna, in fact, it’s a wonder Cyrus didn’t decide to call the song “Like A River.”
As the video opens with “impressions” of Cyrus, followed by her silhouette (at one point in “superhero” pose), we then get a glimpse of just how much she looks like a young(er) Tish Cyrus (“must be somethin’ in the water/Know that I’m my mother’s daughter”), after which the camera pans out to reveal Cyrus on a runway-type stage with a bevy of spotlights on her. The decided “backstage”/“behind the scenes” photoshoot vibe of it all is compounded when Cyrus then appears against a giant white backdrop where she proceeds to mug for the unseen camera as she offers, “You could be the one/Have the honor of my babies/Hope they have your eyes and that crooked smile.” Not exactly a compliment/talk about using someone as a glorified sperm bank for bequeathing the desired attributes to one’s progeny.
With regard to the lost potential for a concept centered around the “WAP” allusions of “River,” Cyrus places the most “gaze”-oriented emphasis on the male body (as they start to slowly creep in around the one-minute, twenty-second mark) rather than the female one (apart from her own, of course). Again, this indicates noticeably opting out of representing any other women in the mix that would indicate and make good on her pan(or at least bi)sexuality declaration. What’s more, because it’s the female “organ” that actually gets wet (subsequently providing wetness to the appendage that enters it) with river-esque proportions, it seems a waste that Cyrus should avert the viewer’s eyes from the very thing she’s actually referring to, even if it was done in a “subtle” manner (as subtle as Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion). Granted, male bodies like these are sure to incur the “river” “down there” that Cyrus is talking about…for straight women (and gay men alike). To drive home that point, Cyrus goes full-tilt “it’s raining men” (meets that famed scene from Flashdance) by the end of the video.
All of that said, it’s rather undeniable that the song itself had far more potential to be “played with” than what Cyrus provides here. As for the defense/saying, “There’s beauty in simplicity,” that’s not quite the case with the visuals for “River,” which could have shown far more (to give another Madonna nod) girl(s) gone wild. Complete with them doing so amid the presence of an actual series of renowned rivers. Even the L.A. one, to be ironic…considering its near-constant state of dryness.
