Nodding to the paparazzi shots and semiotics that comprised their short-lived romance from 2002 to 2004, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck seem to be trolling all of us by recreating some of the most memorable “scenes” from their relationship’s first go-around. As though the entire purpose of getting back together was to do a remake that could be given the more grandiose treatment that a bigger budget now provides. And since the worthier “sequel” is clearly their relationship redux over Gigli itself, the newly fused “Bennifer” is pulling out all the stops to impress.
It began slowly and subtly, with rumors of the duo reuniting mere weeks after her second breakup announcement from Alex Rodriguez was made (this was after their first one was briefly kiboshed, but clearly J. Lo’s erratic heart can’t be tamed). Who knows if they had both been planning their respective breakups for the same time, as Affleck had also only just split from Ana de Armas (clearly, he has a type). Then, in mid-June, with a single kiss at Nobu in Malibu that looked an awful lot like another paparazzi shot from the ’03 era of the two kissing on a balcony, the rumor was confirmed via this unabashed PDA (even though everyone already knew nothing was “platonic” about their visit to the Yellowstone Lodge in Montana). As though Bennifer was actively working on this slow burn reveal, they then seemed to work additional overtime (a.k.a. around the clock) to keep up the rhythm of their momentum in titillating the gossip-hungry.
Hungry since July 2002 at J. Lo’s thirty-third birthday party. For that was the first time the two were spotted kissing, at least publicly. From that point forward, Affleck seemed to become a muse for Lopez, who channeled him a little too much—some said—into the content of her next record. The very one filled with lyrics that now come across as prophecies. And yes, of her third album, This Is Me… Then, J. Lo admitted, “I wrote a lot of songs inspired, in a way, by what I was going through at the time that this album was being made, and [Ben] was definitely a big part of that.”
In a 2002 review from The Guardian, “Dear Ben” in particular was called out as “sickening”—and not in a RuPaul’s Drag Race sort of way. The critic tried her best to cushion the blow of that description by concluding, “…but considering how irritating people in love can be, Lopez has shown restraint and taste with this new direction.” But that wasn’t entirely true at all, as made evident by her dedication, “You are my life…my sole inspiration for every lyric, every emotion, every bit of feeling on this record.” Let’s just say Madonna showed a lot more restraint in expressing her affection for Sean Penn in the True Blue album dedication with a simple, “This is dedicated to my husband, the coolest guy in the universe.” But then again, Madonna ain’t a cheesy (nor July) kind of Leo the way Lopez is.
As though already building the lore to what would actually follow twenty years later, Lopez noted of the album’s title, “Who you are at that time, what kind of music you like, what kind of beats you’re into, what kind of state of mind you’re in, what you’re attracted to… it’s all very telling of where you are in your life at that point.” She added, “Twenty years from now, if I give this to one of my kids, I’ll be like, ‘This was me then, at that moment.’” But apparently it’s who she is at this moment as well: “lover of Ben,” “butt crazy in love with Ben,” etc.
The fact that the opening song, “Still,” seems to be newly directed at A-Rod instead of Cris Judd or P. Diddy (as he was called at the time) is also a bit eerie, with Lopez goading her ex, “Do you ever wish we never split?” Surely, A-Rod’s answer is yes as he kicks himself over in the corner while dining alone at Bar Pitti (yes, it sounds like Bar Pity). The other aspect of “Still” that actually sounds like it could be directed just as easily at A-Rod in the present is, “When we first met, oh, how you charmed me/Made me smile when I was down/Big pimping around the town, you and me/Whenever they’d see you, they’d see me/A lover and a friend to me you were, how did it end?” But other than that, the song is an admission of her wrongdoing in the relationship. Yet, as we all know, Mr. Rodriguez was the one accused of cheating, not Jen—even if she had that rebound waiting in the wings awful quick.
The second track, “Loving You,” is just as prescient in terms of presaging the Bennifer reboot as Lopez croons, “And I can tell the love I have for you is still strong/And there ain’t nothing wrong with me still loving you.” J. Lo signaled “needing time, a moment that is mine”—as Britney would say—by also remarking, “After all that we’ve been through/I find myself still loving you/But I think we need to take the time to get back/‘Cause I never get up on a good thing/I never give up on the love we had/We just need to take it slow.” And take it slow they certainly have, elevating that concept to an entirely new kind of level.
“I’m Glad” (best remembered for the video that serves as a shot-for-shot remake of the Flashdance audition scene…before Iggy Azalea and Ariana Grande came along to do movie remakes in their own videos as well) ramps up the bathetic nods to Ben as Lopez reminisces about that first encounter during the filming of Gigli which began in December 2001. And later, their filming would also persist with another box office bomb, Kevin Smith’s Jersey Girl. She commences, “Baby, when I think about/The day that we first met/Wasn’t looking for what I found/But I found you and I’m bound to/Find happiness in being around you.” This certainly isn’t something Madonna would have come up with in her lyrics based on her first meeting with Sean: locking eyes with him when he came to see her on the set of the “Material Girl” video. And one only brings her up because the only more “wow’ing” celebrity couple reboot would be her and Sean.
Lopez then continues to prattle on, “I’m glad that you/Turned out to be/That certain someone special/Who makes this life worth living/I’m glad you’re here/Just loving me/So say that you won’t leave/‘Cause since the day you came, I’ve been glad.” So it would appear she just wanted to be “glad” again by inviting Ben back into her life.
Continuing not to mince words about her feelings for Señor Affleck on “The One,” she sings, “Heaven knows, I really feel I’ll always be your girl.” Not wrong. Just not yet then right. Unless, of course, per the symmetry of this entire affair, the Bennifer sequel ends up cancelling itself after the same amount of time as before.
In the spirit of “feelin’ on your booty” music (and we all know Ben loves to feel on booties, as exhibited in “Jenny from the Block”), Lopez’s “Dear Ben” (sort of a precursor to Ariana Grande’s “pete davidson” but even more uncomfortable) holds nothing back in terms of schmaltz. Originally called “Perfect,” Lopez evidently wanted to really identify the source material for her inspiration as she opens with, “I just can’t control myself I can’t be with no one else/It seems I’m addicted to the way you like to touch me/I don’t think they understand/Why I love at your command.” The profusion doesn’t stop there as she adds, “I write this song to let you know that you will always be to me/My lust, my love, my man, my child, my friend and my king.” If you just regurgitated a little bit, that’s understandable. But it gets even more maudlin as she vows, “There’s no way I’d leave you/It’s just not a reality.” Here, too, she clearly wasn’t lying. But then she seems to include the caveat, “Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a fantasy,” as though to mirror her fans’ headspace in being duped yet again that this romance could ever last.
Reverting to the voice that speaks from a frame of mind directed at the ex-lover who has thrown her into the arms of this new piece (or, in this case, old piece), “All I Have” featuring LL Cool J is one of those classic types of duets where the male and female singer actually address one another à la Mickey & Sylvia on “Love Is Strange.” It’s such a shame, but I’m leaving/Can’t take the way you mistreated me/And it’s crazy, but oh, baby/It don’t matter, whatever, don’t phase me.” The single now serves up major “fuck off to A-Rod” vibes, who one can imagine delivering the meathead vocals of LL coaxing, “I don’t believe you wanna leave like this/I don’t believe/I just had my last real kiss/I do believe we’ll laugh and reminisce/Wait a minute, don’t bounce, baby, let’s talk about this, man.”
That would be a hard no for J. Lo, who has moved on (again) to her “Jenny from the Block” phase, particularly in video format. While “Dear Ben” might have been called, strangely enough, “the centerpiece” of the album at the time, it’s so obviously this lead single. The one that has led everyone to believe Ben and Jen are putting on a major production of their own sequel, because all these shot re-creations simply cannot be mere coincidence. The most overt one of late has been the photos of Bennifer on a yacht in Saint Tropez, with Ben performing the same ass grab as before. Directed by Francis Lawrence, who was helping to cultivate J. Lo iconography since the “Waiting for Tonight” video, Affleck was endlessly mocked for his appearance in “Jenny from the Block.” This, in part, now seems more like a testament to society’s discomfiture with any male “in power” falling second in line to become “Mr. Lopez” (as the derisive moniker flipping would go). In the present, a bloke ought to get out of the way if he can’t deal with a woman being more quote unquote successful than he is. Not that it ever should have been an issue to begin with, but à ce moment, more than ever, it’s an especially gross signal of toxic masculinity.
A characteristic that J. Lo makes repeatedly clear on This Is Me… Then that Ben doesn’t suffer from. She also makes bold move by stealing a Janet Jackson song title—though perhaps if anyone has a right to call a track “Again,” it’s J. Lo. With a dramatic piano opening, the song leads into the feelin’ on your booty style of R&B once more as she provides another wave of vows and declarations, including, “I will love you all my life/Always be by your side/And I will give you all I have/‘Cause you gave me peace and joy again/Again, again.” She might have appeared to be lying about all this when the breakup happened in ’04, but even if it had stuck, Lopez still assured, “A friend is what you’ll always have in me/I’m so grateful for the man you turned out to be/And it doesn’t matter who you happen to meet/You’ll forever be a sacred part of me.” Obviously.
Perhaps wanting to let listeners know that it’s not all rainbows, orgasms and yacht trips to Saint Tropez, Lopez throws in a cover of “You Belong to Me,” made famous by Carly Simon. And yes, if you think Lopez doing Simon would sound weird/not quite right, you wouldn’t be mistaken. Yet it’s obvious Lopez wanted people to know that she can have a jealous and possessive side as much as any other girl, announcing, “You belong to me/Tell her, tell her you were fooling/You belong to me/Tell her she don’t even know you.”
“I’ve Been Thinkin’” was yet another foreshadowing track. Granted, at the time, it foreshadowed the engagement being off, but, in the present, it indicates J. Lo just needed about twenty years to be really sure. After all, she’s spent two decades “wondering endlessly if this is right or wrong/Or if it’s just about me all along/All I need is time to search within my soul/So I can share a deeper part of me, yeah.” So it would look as though that’s exactly what she’s doing on these various romantic interludes with Ben in places like Montana, Miami, Saint Tropez and Capri. She also forewarned in the same song, “Baby, what’s meant to be (what’s meant to be)/Will surely be (if you love me, baby, you would understand)/But I can’t give you anything (can’t give you anything)/[If] I don’t have myself to give.” Now, ostensibly, she does have herself to give—along with that watch she already gave to him back in ’02 that Affleck has been spotted wearing again as part of this “offscreen” sequel.
As This Is Me… Then concludes, the “baby”-throwing (as in the word) continues on the final song of the non-bonus track album. Called “Baby I Love U!” (and yes, J. Lo was one of many who fell prey to the trap of ruining a song by remixing it with R. Kelly), it’s yet another effusive love note to Benny Ben Ben. Although it sounds a bit like Beyoncé’s “Love on Top” vocally and lyrically, the music itself actually has something of a sinister undertone as it incorporates the theme from Midnight Cowboy. Perhaps J. Lo’s secret sex pet name for Ben. Thus, while This Is Me… Then might have remained nothing more than a piece of 00s ephemera, it has turned out to provide a very rich source of material from which J. Lo and Ben can draw from to further enhance this little sequel called Bennifer 2.0. Because, it’s true, no one wants to think about Gigli’s existence ever again—even if it’s what brought this charismatic couple together in the first place.
