On the heels of Nicki Minaj being accused of hypocrisy for “shaming sex workers” (just par for the course of her natural gift for inciting bifteka), comes “Bed,” her third single from Queen (to be released August, a shitty month save for Madonna’s birthday) with Ariana Grande. Though the video has yet to be released, we have plenty to glean from the lyrics, which should absolutely never be played within a one mile radius of a homeless man as a result of their overly inviting nature.
Getting right to the heart of the invitation with, “Got a bed wit yo name on it,” Minaj soon adds to Grande’s provocation, “Thousand dollar sheets, waiting for you on some thousand dollar sheets.” You best believe if this summons was made in any sort of close proximity to a male sans home, he would instantly assume that he was welcome in said thousand dollar sheets, probably far more enjoyable than the stone pillow he has attempted to grow accustomed to. And because the homeless male is even more shameless in his willingness to take something loosely offered by a woman, there’s no question he would interpret, “Got a kiss wit your name on it/Wit your name on it/Love me good, love me down/Don’t turn me down,” as the sort of thing to mean, so long as he puts out, he can have a lavish bed to sleep in.
And, in all honesty, this kind of speaks to a larger truth about the untapped resources women have at their disposal on the streets of America. Being that so many men with money and a home are shitheads anyway, why not just offer homeless dudes a bed in exchange for sex? That way you’re the one with all the power–an exchange of services that both of you can benefit from, while you as the woman have the upper hand in being able to dictate what’s on the sexual menu lest you threaten him with the unpleasant reality of returning to the concrete bed he was so eager to be rid of, at least if only for a night.
So maybe I take it back–maybe the siren-like call of women with thread counts reaching the one thousand mark should, in fact, give a wink and a nod to the man with the change cup and say, “Got a bed wit yo name on it/Wit yo name on it.” And you can even give him any name you want for the night–it’s all part of the “fantasy”/fetish every woman secretly has of fucking a homeless person after rescuing him from the streets. That’s sort of our flipped and reversed version of a modern fairy tale. Because certainly ain’t no man gonna take a woman off the streets. He’ll just rape her in the alley without even the offer of a bed.
