As if taking a page from Robyn’s “marinating-on-a-song-for-a-decade” playbook (the most recent example of that being “Dopamine”), Kylie Minogue has been sitting on the concept for “XMAS” ever since Kylie Christmas was first released in 2015 (so yes, like Robyn with “Dopamine,” it’s a single that’s been in the making, so to speak, for the past decade). And clearly, the “long game” for the song has paid off in the form of Minogue snagging the coveted “UK Christmas number one” (even though JADE’s “Church” would have been a nice [not naughty] option for that distinction as well).
As part of what’s being framed as the Kylie Christmas (Fully Wrapped) edition of the album, this isn’t the first time Minogue has reissued her grand foray into Christmas music. She also did so just one year after the record was released, billing it as Kylie Christmas (Snow Queen Edition). For this version, she offered six new tracks, including “Winter Wonderland,” “Only You” featuring James Corden (for some reason), “Stay Another Day,” “Christmas Wrapping” featuring Iggy Pop, “At Christmas” and “I’m Gonna Be Warm This Winter.” For the Fully Wrapped edition, Minogue offers four new ditties: “Hot in December,” “This Time of Year,” “Office Party” and, of course, “XMAS.” Though it says something that “XMAS” is only available via yet another edition of Fully Wrapped: the Amazon Music one. Hence, the “Amazon Music Original” video, directed by Minogue go-to Sophie Muller. Even if, to be frank, the video looks so AI-generated it doesn’t really seem as if it needed a director.
This is made apparent from the moment that a burst of ornament, ribbon and “fully wrapped” present graphics assault the viewer’s eyes before transitioning into the appearance of “Cool Christmas Kylie” in her sunglasses spelling out “X-M-A-S” right out the gate. And as for that spelling “tactic,” even though it was inspired by Village People’s seminal hit, “YMCA,” what comes to mind more than that is Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl” (one of the few Stefani videos that Muller didn’t direct). For perhaps not since this single (during which Stefani “cheerleader chants,” “B-A-N-A-N-A-S”) has a “spelling song” gotten so stuck in people’s heads (and no, Taylor Swift’s “ME!” doesn’t count—even she seemed to think so after removing the “Hey kids! Spelling is fun!” line from it). Perhaps proving that people get more addicted to spelling songs that end in “A-S.”
However, after introducing her listeners to the spelling concept, Minogue then provides some slightly more “elevated” lyrics that speak to the running and rushing that capitalism enforces most especially around this time of year. So it is that she sings, “It’s Christmas time, can’t skip the beat/Something’s coming coming coming over me [how Madonna on “Secret”]/How we get through this mystery/Getting all the presents underneath the tree/So I can’t stop now, I got to go/No hugging and kissing out there in the snow/Put it on the menu for later though/Anything can happen, baby, I don’t know.” This declaration made as she stands in front of a classically decorated tree—all decked out in plenty of tinsel. Surrounded by revelers of all ages, Minogue stands at the center of the fray in her red gown with black trim and bow flourishes, soon leading the sing-along of, “Everybody going ‘X-M-A-S, X-M-A-S’/Oh yeah we’re going, ‘X-M-A-S, X-M-A-S’/Let me hear you going, ‘X-M-A-S, X-M-A-S.’”
Going back to the “Cool Kylie” that was introduced at the beginning of the video, she’s shown again in this incarnation’s fuller glory in a little black dress adorned with white trim and bows featuring black polka dots for contrast. Backgrounded by red and a, let’s say, “rough” map of the continents, Minogue’s intent appears to be getting across some 80s-inspired notion of “unity.” And that it can be achieved through repeating, “X-M-A-S” like an incantation (because at this rate, people are willing to try anything that might remedy the state of things).
During another somewhat random part of the video, Muller cuts to a trio of TV screens featuring news reporters, providing the opportunity for fellow Aussie Naomi Watts to make a cameo as one of the reporters. Not to mention ABBA’s Björn Ulvaeus (maybe Minogue was unable to get one of the Village People instead, and someone from another 70s-era band felt like the next best thing). And, of course, Danii Minogue has no problem making an appearance either. For what could spell “Christmas” more than the presence of a family member?
Before closing out the song, Minogue also takes a cue from Nat King Cole’s 1964 hit, “L-O-V-E,” by offering a similarly-styled bridge in the form of, “X, the kisses that I got for you/M, and a very Merry Christmas too [really stretching the M’s mileage there]/A, all the love that’s in the room/S, yes, yes, yes!” (seemed that she struggled to find an appropriate lyric to go with “S” there, stretching the bounds far more than she did with the “M”). There’s also a callback to the Isley Brothers’ 1959 bop, “Shout,” when Minogue grabs her candy cane-patterned bullhorn and urges, “A little louder now.” This, of course, channels the moment in “Shout” when the Isley Brothers repeat, “A little bit louder now.”
As the video comes to a close, Minogue switches into full “Santa” attire and regalia, appearing outside a very London kind of abode. Even though everything about this scene screams, “We’re on a set!” (side note: “XMAS” was shot in Latvia). Much the same as it does for Mariah Carey’s updated “All Want for Christmas Is You” video (called “All I Want for Christmas Is You [Make My Wish Come True Edition]”) from 2019. In fact, it looks as though Minogue and Muller might have been directly inspired by it (namely, the portion where Carey is in her own “winter wonderland” setup outside of some distinctly fake-looking edifice and also being danced around by assorted “merrymakers”). Even though that would be a rather pitiable mood board considering how ersatz said Carey video looks. Perhaps now breeding an even more ersatz visual in “XMAS.”
Even so, there’s no denying the gay cachet of both Carey and Minogue, particularly in terms of the camp they bring to these Christmas songs. Though it’s Minogue who managed to oust the so-called Queen of Christmas this year. That is, at least in the UK. But, at this juncture, said country is arguably far more “festive” to be in than the US, where Carey continues to hold her crown during Christmas on the Billboard Hot 100. So there on either side of the pond, you have two pop stars doing their part to make Xmas gay on two levels: the homo way and the happy way. Thus, at least some people trying (though certainly not anyone in government).
