As usual, something Madonna did turned out to be rather prescient and ahead of the curve. In this case, posting controversial (to the pearl clutchers) AI-generated images of herself “canoodling” with the pope that would quickly become of even greater interest in the aftermath of his death.
Of course, Madonna has always been known for “aligning herself” with the Church, even if in ways they didn’t exactly ask for, let alone want (e.g., the “Like A Prayer” video). But how could that be helped when she was indoctrinated from such a young age by the tenets and teachings of Catholicism (courtesy of her parents, Silvio “Tony” Ciccone and Madonna Sr.)?
So, naturally, she would find humor in and fascination with the abovementioned sexually-charged images, which, in contrast to her “scandalous” NFT of 2022, were not “art pieces” that she made or sanctioned herself, but rather, ones created by an Italian digital artist calling themself RickDick (which has a certain “Rick9Plus” feel to it, for those who easily catch on to obscure Sex and the City references). Nonetheless, Madonna might as well have used Midjourney AI herself to make it, considering that all the flak about the images was aimed directly at her after she paraded them on her social media accounts (much to the rightful delight of RickDick himself). Therefore, all but sanctioning the “salacious” message, with people taking it literally that Madonna would be down for a less than pure exchange with Pope Francis.
Granted, while that might have been true in the past (at the height of her simultaneous attraction to and repulsion by the Catholic Church), it definitely isn’t in the present, with Madonna simply wanting to relish her usual brand of irreverence with far less “blood, sweat and tears” invested than in previous decades. Like the 1990s, when Madonna was inarguably at one of the heights of her scandal-making artistry. This included the trifecta of releasing, in back-to-back succession, the Erotica album, the Sex book and the Body of Evidence film. It is the premise of the latter that most closely aligns with how Pope Francis (among the few popes without a Roman numeral attached to his name) would have probably died in the AI universe. That is to say, as a result of Madonna’s body acting as the “murder weapon” that finally did him in.
After all, Pope F is/was the same kind of fragile old man that Rebecca Carlson’s target, Andrew Marsh (Michael Forest), encapsulated in Body of Evidence. A movie that bears the tawdry tagline, “When is an act of love an act of murder?” This being in obvious reference to Rebecca’s “rough” and “wild” sex culminating in Andrew having a heart attack. And, conveniently, he just so happened to put Rebecca in his will before that orgasmic death, leaving her eight million dollars (particularly big money in 1993). Most likely to be put to use for a proper sex dungeon.
Though many have been quick to “jokingly” blame JD Vance for killing the pope (having visited him on Easter Sunday, just one day before he died)—his antichrist presence being too much for Pope F to bear in his weakened state—were this the alternate AI universe of RickDick’s imagination, Madonna would be the most prime suspect. For, if one were to go on the narrative established by RickDick of Madonna rubbing and grinding up against “Fran” at his eighty-eighth birthday party (hence, posting this particular image on December 17, 2024), it’s clear that she had something to do with “rattling” his heart rate (de facto, his overall health) more than just a bit.
And perhaps, once the party died down a bit, and the other bishops and cardinals trickled back toward their own lairs, Madonna managed to use some of the same signature flirtatious flair that got Mark Kamins to play the “Everybody” demo at Danceteria to, this time, lure the pope into the Sistine Chapel (or maybe the Borgia Apartments) for some “hanky panky” (to borrow a Breathless Mahoney phrase). It would be in one such decadent milieu that M would be “inspired” to pull down the zipper of her black lace bustier (the outfit shown in the AI image where Pope Francis is whispering some kind of “sweet nothing” into her ear [perhaps something to the effect of, “Oh my God I am heartly sorry for having offended Thee/And I detest all my sins/Because I dread the loss of heaven and the pain of hell/But most of all, because I love Thee/And I want so badly too be good”]).
It wouldn’t take long for Pope Francis’ heart to start beating at a palpably increased pace, this being reflected in the perspiration forming beneath his zucchetto and spreading in slow, but steady drops down his forehead. When he took an oath to resist temptation, he had no idea it would mean having to resist Madonna. A challenge even more difficult than if the “real” Madonna herself tried to not so immaculately conceive with him.
So it was that, in the AI universe, Madonna definitely took a cue from one of her least appreciated movie characters, and decided to turn an “act of love” into an “act of murder.” With God as her witness.
