Kylie Minogue’s “Padam Padam” Proves That Madonna Absorbed the Critical Vitriol for Other 50+ Pop Stars So They Could Keep Talking Like Teens and Twenty-Somethings in Their Songs at Any Age

As the discussion continues about whether or not “middle age” really exists anymore, among the many pop stars to benefit from the decision that it doesn’t is Kylie Minogue. That is to say, she isn’t being reamed for not “acting her age” the way Madonna (who has influenced Minogue and so many other pop star prototypes) constantly is. For whatever reason, Madonna appears to be the sole absorber of all ageist criticisms pertaining to aesthetics and lyrical content deemed too “young” for someone “her age.” She is, in effect, the pop star embodiment of Lottie (Courtney Eaton) on Yellowjackets taking all the punches from Shauna (Sophie Nélisse), representing the public in this case, so that none of the other girls have to. And while Minogue is ten years younger than Madonna, it’s still a bit of stretch to hear some of the things she’s singing about on her first single from Tension, “Padam Padam” (luckily, not a dance remake of the Édith Piaf song).  

This isn’t to say a woman shouldn’t be able to sing about whatever the fuck she wants, no matter what age she is, it’s just interesting that only certain women seem to eke by with a “pass” for talking about such things as, “Padam, padam/I know you wanna take me home/Padam, and take off all my clothes.” Certainly, Minogue’s well-maintained face and body are nothing to balk at and it’s easy to believe someone (man or woman) would want to take her home, but it has to be acknowledged that this sort of talk from a fifty-plus pop star has only ever been done by Madonna (that’s right, not even Cher has “dared” to do what Madonna does in terms of redefining pop stardom for an “unthinkable” age bracket). And when she did (and still does), it never quite manages to get by “the censors” without some very harsh assessments.

Take, for example, a 2012 review of MDNA, in which the reviewer felt it essential to comment, “Let us banish from our minds the thought that there are perhaps more dignified approaches for a 53-year-old woman than singing, ‘Girls, they just wanna have some fun’ in a song named after a series of porn videos in which women are encouraged to strip off in exchange for free baseball caps…” Minogue, of course, would never get such flak for singing about similarly “undignified” things “for her age” on “Padam Padam,” elsewhere including, “I can hear your heart beatin’/Padam, padam, I hear it and I know/Padam, padam, I know you wanna take me home/Padam, and get to know me close.” Less “age appropriate” still is, “This place is crowdin’ up/I think it’s time for you to takе me out this club/And we don’t need to use our words/Wanna see what’s underneath that t-shirt/Shivers and cold champagne.”

As for the music video to go with “Padam Padam,” Minogue reteams with Sophie Muller (who also directed, among other Minogue singles, “Magic” and “Dancing”) to create a vibrant, red-filled palette that suggests the passion and heartbeat alluded to throughout the song. That red palette includes Minogue’s très rouge Mugler catsuit (alas, a red catsuit can never be more iconic than it was in Britney’s “Oops!…I Did It Again”). The video opens with aesthetics that are right out of the Twin Peaks and Chris Isaak music video playbook—from shots of Minogue in a diner holding out her bright red cup to be refilled to Minogue lying on a motel bed with two “fuzzed-out” TVs next to her (the whole 90s-esque motel vibe smacks of Chris Isaak’s “Baby Did A Bad Thing”). The lush visuals of both locations can be attributed to the Pink Motel and its adjacent Cadillac Jack’s Café (formerly Pink Café). And yet, for all the visual precision, there’s not really a cohesive “theme,” other than: red (ironic, considering the motel’s name). At other moments, Minogue appears outdoors with a slew of backup dancers as she “oversees” more than participates in the choreography (another maneuver Madonna has taken to in recent years, especially on tour). And, despite talking about being in a club, Minogue makes mention of that line while back in the diner as her dancers move around on the stools and in the booths for a simultaneously eerie and “playful” effect.

In another scene, Minogue sits in a “futuristic” (because of its hyper-curved shape) red armchair as the dancers gyrate behind her. This, again, indicates a kind of disconnect between what Minogue wants to “exude” within these lyrics versus what she’s capable of exuding through her physicality. When Madonna turned fifty-four—Minogue’s current age (going on fifty-five as of May 28th)—in 2012, she was still determined to match her own physical manifestation of “Girl Gone Wild” in the Mert and Marcus-directed video, gyrating in unison with Ukrainian boy band Kazaky and their male model imitators that rounded out the cast of backup dancers.

Three years prior, Madonna had another Benny Benassi-flavored track in 2009’s “Celebration,” with the Jonas Åkerlund-directed video featuring her writhing and grinding in thigh-high stiletto boots and a barely crotch-covering Balmain studded dress. The song doesn’t just bear bringing up because of Madonna’s continued dance commitment in it, but because even when Minogue says in “Padam Padam,” “You look like fun to me/You look a little like somebody I know,” it echoes Madonna saying something similar on “Celebration” with, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?/You look familiar/You wanna dance?” Minogue has that same desire to grind up against someone (preferably of a “boy toy” demographic) on the dance floor for a while before going back to one of their places to disrobe. After all, she hasn’t put such work into her body for it to go unnoticed by another, n’est-ce pas?

As for “Padam Padam” itself, there’s no denying it’s an absolute bop (which is a relief after the tired stylings of her Disco era). Produced by Lostboy, the song has the kind of earworm hook that made “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” so, well, impossible to get out of one’s head. Within this single, Minogue alludes to that 2001 hit with the line, “I’ll be in your head all weekend.” In addition to probably giving/getting head all weekend from the sound of it. But again, Minogue’s ability—as well as any other female pop star going forward—to refer to such things without the judgment to “act her age” is a direct result of the floggings Madonna has taken. And, as stated before, continues to take.

Perhaps because Minogue comes across as a “nicer” person, or maybe just the fact that she’s Australian and not American (therefore not subject to the same puritanical American views as Madonna), it’s helped her avoid such similar tongue lashings. But for all of Madonna’s supposed “bitchiness,” no one, least of all Minogue, can deny the path she’s cleared for post-middle-age existence (particularly for women), whether as a pop star or a civilian. Which is to say, it no longer really exists at all as a direct result of Madonna’s refusal to pander to being, as she once phrased it in an interview with Jonathan Ross, “put out to pasture” at the age of forty.

Genna Rivieccio http://culledculture.com

Genna Rivieccio writes for myriad blogs, mainly this one, The Burning Bush, Missing A Dick, The Airship and Meditations on Misery.

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