Mondo Bullshittio #47: Madonna Not Being on the “yes, and?” Remix, Or: Mariah Carey Not Only Brings Nothing to the “yes, and?” Remix, But She Also Sounds Like An AI Version of Herself

In a series called Mondo Bullshittio, let’s talk about some of the most glaring hypocrisies and faux pas in pop culture…and all that it affects.

As Mariah Carey has been trending with “the kids” these days (mainly because Miley Cyrus bowed down to her while being presented with the Grammy for Best Pop Solo Performance, even though Carey announced her name as “Mirey” instead of “Miley”), it’s only natural that Ariana Grande should return to collaborating with her (having previously featured on yet another remix in 2020…for Carey’s 2010 song, “Oh Santa!”). Except that, well, it’s not really natural at all for a remix of “yes, and?,” which, if anything, should include contributing vocals from Madonna, the pop star that Grande borrows most heavily from for the single (apart from Paula Abdul…but only for the accompanying music video’s visuals). Because, needless to say, “yes, and?” is extremely influenced by “Vogue.” Which Madonna herself borrowed from the gay Black and Latino community of ballroom dancers in the late 80s. Because, as many are still aware, Madonna was the only mainstream artist at that time willing to showcase, promote and generally associate with gay men during a period when it was anathema to do so thanks to the AIDS pandemic. We all know Mariah damn sure wasn’t doing that shit, especially since she was doing her best at the outset of her career to not be branded as a Black artist, least of all liberally associate in public with gay Black people.

Accordingly, Mariah, while Blacker than Madonna (obviously), doesn’t really have a place to comfortably assert herself within the spirit of this song. Not just because it’s evident that she’s struggling to find a moment on the remix where her vocals can actually shine (without fully upstaging Grande’s—though upstaging has never seemed to be a problem for Carey), but because she also comes across like an AI-sounding version of herself. Perhaps in a bid not to be compared to Grande, Carey goes a few octaves lower than we’re used to hearing as Grande hits all of her usual high notes. Sure, the two harmonize at the beginning for an effect that could bring all the dolphins to shore, but, as the song commences, Carey gets totally lost in the shuffle of Grande’s dominating voice. 

While the point of adding Carey into the equation might have been, among other reasons (apart from making certain gay men splooge), to highlight their comparable vocal stylings and talents, the result is, instead, underscoring Grande’s vocal prowess compared to her “mentor’s.” An effect, as many snarky critics would be quick to point out, that wouldn’t have happened with the likes of Madonna contributing to the track. And no, it’s not “just” because she doesn’t have the same vocal range as Carey, but because her voice is different enough from Grande’s to actually complement it. And since the implications of a remix are that a song is actually going to stand apart from its original with either different music or a collaborator that’s noticeable (as was the case on Grande’s “34+35 Remix”), “yes, and?” falls short in many regards. 

Being that Carey’s genre range has never gone far beyond the limits of “adult contemporary,” pop and R&B (while allowing occasional rap features on her pop songs), she seems totally at sixes and sevens when tasked with blending in seamlessly to the dance-centric rhythms of house music. Her one additional verse contribution also lands flatly with regard to “serving,” and, indeed, even reads like it was generated by AI as well: “I’m so done with sharing/This hypocrisy with you/Baby, you have been rejected/Go back, no more pretending, bye.” It’s almost like a bad imitation, lyrically, of Beyoncé shouting, “Tell him, ‘Boy, bye’” on “Sorry.” 

The fact that nearly every outlet that’s reviewed the original “yes, and?” has called out the noticeable homage Grande gives to Madonna on this song adds to the overall feeling of how thudding this remix sounds. Because, (yours) truly, if anyone was going to help with the remix, it ought to have been Madonna. Carey could have easily been put on ice (something she’s used to vis-à-vis Christmas storage) for a different remix of another song that might have actually worked better for her vocals. What’s more, while Grande may have already paid the ultimate compliment to Madonna by casting her as God for the “God Is A Woman” video, that Grande selected someone for “yes, and?” who has been so blatant about her contempt for the Queen of Pop in the past (as recently as all the shade thrown in her autobiography, The Meaning of Mariah Carey) is yet another pouring of salt in the wound of not “tapping” M to be involved with this homage to “Vogue” more directly.

In any case, perhaps Madonna is still too busy with The Celebration Tour/riding high on the success of her feature on The Weeknd’s “Popular” to be concerned with this rather overt slight/misjudgment.

Genna Rivieccio http://culledculture.com

Genna Rivieccio writes for myriad blogs, mainly this one, The Burning Bush, Missing A Dick, The Airship and Meditations on Misery.

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