Because everything in pop culture, one way or another, goes back to Sex and the City, it was probably inevitable that something at the Met Gala this year would tie into it (though certainly not the overarching presence of a certain billionaire and his billionaire-by-association wife). Particularly since it’s a fashion event (the fashion event, many would argue) and SATC, primarily thanks to Patricia Field, has long prided itself on its sartorial acumen and iconography.
Though maybe no one would have expected that of, all things, it would be the fake nipple trend to reemerge from a Sex and the City plotline. Because, if anything, it probably ought to have been more likely to see someone at the Met Gala resuscitate one of Carrie Bradshaw’s (Sarah Jessica Parker) “Fashion Is Art”-type hats (which technically extends to the monstrosity she wore in the season three episode of And Just Like That… titled “Outlook Good”).
But no, turns out, 2026 in “fashion” is going straight back to 2001 (and who can blame it, considering the lusterlessness of everything and every industry?). More specifically, to Samantha Jones’ (Kim Cattrall) rubber nipple era. This made apparent by the fake nipple flourishes sported by most of the Kardashian-Jenners (namely, Kim Kardashian, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner), as well as Hailey Bieber, Heidi Klum (albeit as a “statue”), Irina Shayk, Camila Morrone and Doja Cat—all offering up some “hard” nipple play to their ensembles.
And then there were the ones who opted to have “artistic renderings” of them on their outfits instead. Like Chase Infiniti, Devyn Garcia and Jeremy Pope, whose nipples were incorporated by more “painterly”/optical illusion means than the others who went for the more “traditional,” “Samantha Jones-sanctioned” style. For it was she who told Carrie, Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) at the beginning of the season four episode, “Baby, Talk Is Cheap,” “Nipples are huge right now. Open any magazine. It’s not that cold. Those girls are either tweaking, or they’re wearing these.”
Or, they’re simply putting on bodycon structures with sculpted nipples “built in.” Which definitely makes it all so much more seamless than what Miranda does when she agrees to give Samantha’s nips a “test drive” around the bar where they’ve posted up for the night. And that is to lick the backs of the nipples before “affixing” them to her own underneath her tank top.
Later, when Samantha takes them back, she uses them to “pick up” a guy named Warren Dreyfous (John Bolger). The founding partner of a communication strategy firm “that made the Exxon oil spill an ‘incident’ rather than a ‘debacle.’” Of course, a guy like that can only turn out to be no good, as Samantha soon realizes. Not just because he’s a protector of corporate debauchery, but because he also happens to be a “big baby” (therefore, enjoys talking like one in bed).
That’s likely why he was attracted to her “titty-witties” (as he calls them) in the first place—because they reminded him of when he was on the tit. Which brings one to the current moment of the fake nipple’s chicness, presently looking anything but “natural” or “inviting.” Because the “aesthetic” has now apparently evolved into being uber-fake in a way that deliberately plays up the ersatz quality of it, as if to reflect the AI influence on everything at this juncture (see also: Katy Perry’s corny “fashion commentary” on that while also attending the event).
But in “Samantha’s day,” the nipples were used merely as a lure. And once that goal was achieved, it was all about tossing them to the side (as she literally does when Warren takes her in a kissing embrace that looks decidedly lifted from a “nighttime soap opera” like Melrose Place) and getting down to the business at hand.
These “new-fangled” fake nipples, however, are emblematic of how impersonal and sanitized everything has gotten. Even the body. And that’s probably why Samantha, in addition to thinking the trend was “so yesterday” (a Hilary Duff phrase, but nonetheless…), would probably deride its total lack of, let’s say, “carnality.” Turning the flesh into something so much more, well, cold and robotic. Not something that Samantha, for as modern and “forward-thinking,” as she was always portrayed to be, would find all that “sexy.” Indeed, it’s entirely possible she might just advise all these people to go back to “no-show” nipples with the way they’re taking the realism (ergo, sexiness) entirely out of them.
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