While most musicians of the present are determined to adhere to the trend (which seems less of a trend and more of a now “established way of doing things”) of creating songs for “single format”—therefore, “viral on TikTok” format—Kali Uchis deviates from that ever-increasing norm with each new album she puts out. Her fifth, Sincerely, (comma afterward intended), is yet another shining example of Uchis’ commitment to the artform of an album, rather than churning out a few good songs designed to be singles. This is why she told Zane Lowe during their Apple Music interview that Sincerely, is “one of those albums that I think is meant to be listened to from top to bottom.” A sentiment that’s in keeping with how Finneas described Billie Eilish’s Hit Me Hard and Soft (in other words, “an album-ass album”). And no, as mentioned, not many other artists are making records with this kind of listening experience in mind (save for more “veteran” acts like Lana Del Rey, The Weeknd and Miley Cyrus).
However, Uchis is not the first to make what is best classified as an “I’m a mother now” album (which Julia Fox should have really cashed in on). Something that Madonna pioneered in 1998 with Ray of Light and that a few others since have tried to emulate, in their way (including Adele with 25 and Halsey with If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power). But Uchis might just be the strongest post-Ray of Light example yet of motherhood’s influence on a woman’s music (hence, opting to release the album at the outset of Mother’s Day weekend). This further intensified by the fact that not only did Uchis become a mother while making the album, but she also lost her own, Betsy Loaiza Boteler. In fact, Boteler passed away just before Uchis’ son turned one.
The vagueness around what caused her death leads one to speculate that it was cancer of some kind, for that is the type of illness most prone to taking a life so abruptly (or gradually, then suddenly). In recalling how she managed to mend her relationship with her mother to Marie Claire, Uchis remarked, “Even before she got sick [that vague term] and I got pregnant, we moved past it, my mom and I. She actually made the effort to work on our relationship and try to get closer. A lot of parents of their generation will not take accountability or have difficult conversations. My mom wasn’t like that.” As for the accountability that Uchis wanted her mother (and father, presumably) to take, it pertained largely to being cast out of her own home when she was a teenager. Uchis famously chose to live in her car while pursuing her dream of becoming an artist—a goal that her parents staunchly disapproved of. For the first time, this painful subject is something that Uchis addresses in her lyrics. And, to be sure, there is a certain Lana Del Rey (for whom Uchis served as the opening act during 2018’s LA to the Moon Tour) parallel to what happened to her in terms of being “sent away” when she was a teenager (except that Uchis didn’t get a cushy “white people’s banning” by being shipped off to boarding school).
But before Uchis delves into the that topic, there is the opening track, “Heaven is a Home…” Appropriately, it was the first song she started to write for Sincerely, which is why Uchis felt it was only right to feature it as the inaugural track. With a dreamy opening that sounds like a combination of the intro to Del Rey’s (cover of) “Blue Velvet” and “Born to Die,” the lyrics Uchis came up with before she even had her son or knew about her mother’s diagnosis presaged what was to come. This much is evident in such verses as, “Stay away from my baby/Stay away from my home/That’s all I ask of the world/That’s all I ask of you.” Already in fierce “mama bear” protector mode, Uchis additionally cautions her lover, “Don’t forget why they’re so mad/Look at just how deeply we’ve been blessed.” On the topic of jealousy, it’s something Uchis has long been aware of, starting in her early days of trying to make something of her art while supporting herself financially by working at a grocery store (this done during the period when she was living out of her car). Of the older women who worked there, Uchis commented to Lowe during their interview that she’s often felt that, in her experience, older women hate on younger ones. And she can’t understand why. Especially since they should remember the insecurity that comes with youth, and how important support and encouragement is for that age group.
So yes, Uchis is ready to defend her baby and her baby daddy, Don Toliver, against all the jealous haters. In another part of the song, there’s a line that eerily predicts her mother’s “great beyond” presence, with Uchis singing, “Shining through the clouds/See a smiling face/And it gives me faith/Yeah, it gives me hope.” She then dives into the “Video Games”-esque chorus, “‘Cause heaven is a home/Wherever I’m with you/All I wanted was a home/And heaven knows/That every word is true/I’m at home wherever I’m with you.”
The bursting-with-love feelings conveyed on “Heaven is a Home…” persist on “Sugar! Honey! Love!” Yet another punctuation-packing song title (as most of them are—a testament to Uchis’ lyrical prose). And while some might assume that it’s an obvious love song to Toliver, Uchis noted, “This song in particular, it’s really just about, you know, losing people in a way that you didn’t expect or imagine. Accepting that you losing people is a part of life. It’s not a male-centered song at all.” Indeed, the overarching theme of the record is “not avoiding pain,” as she phrased it to Lowe. After all, suppressing such emotions—namely, intense sadness—can cause legitimate physical harm. Something Uchis also commented on to Lowe, with women in particular having a higher rate of autoimmune disease precisely because they are the gender most likely to suppress, to shove it all down and try to “just keep going” without acknowledging the pain.
As for the standout chorus, “And I did all my time for a crime that wasn’t mine/Made it out alive, now I’m letting the sun/Shine on me and my sweet sugar honey love/Shine all your light to this world, sugar, honey, love,” it pertains to Uchis’ long-standing belief that she would never be able to break out of her familial “curse.” That is to say, the curse of being Colombian, of being “other” in the U.S. But oh, how Uchis has managed to do just that and then some. Not only breaking the curse of presumed poverty, but also the curse of how it’s typically only blanco nepo babies that get to pursue their so-called art with some measure of success (read: money). A phenomenon that’s enough to make anyone not born to a famous person lose their cool.
And, with that expression in mind, “Lose My Cool,” is the next track—and the one where Uchis’ Cocteau Twins influence on Sincerely, is the most noticeable, citing their work as being at its most palpable during the second half of the song (which, yes, does sound like an entirely different one compared to the first half). Apart from the C. Twins, Uchis also listed Fiona Apple, Amy Winehouse and The Cranberries as influences that fall under the kind of “emotional, melancholy” genre she wanted to capture for this record. In contrast to the more “fun” spirit of her preceding album, Orquídeas. In addition to its more “cool girl” aura.
But here, Uchis admits she’s ready to let down all her defenses and pretenses, telling the object of her affection, “Pulled my hair back with barrettes/See, I was trying to keep my cool/‘Cause no one wants to act a fool, but/You make me lose my cool/Confused, I forgot the rules to play/So forget the game/Take off your cool now, don’t be ashamed/You make me lose my cool.” And Uchis is no longer afraid of how “foolish” that might make her look. Because the only thing more foolish would be to let this love slip through her fingers, as she makes clear on the affecting bridge of the track: “Don’t let go/Just keep holding on to love/All I do, all I know/Is keep holding on to love.” Would that certain government officials could say the same.
“Lose My Cool,” leads seamlessly into “It’s Just Us,” another love letter to love as Uchis opens with, “When you smiled at me/Something changed in my brain chemistry/A love felt infinitely/Was my heart’s remedy, oh.” It’s in the next lines that she broaches the topic of her “self-imposed” teenage homelessness by recalling, “Kicked out the house as a teen/But I was on my own much longer it seemed.” That is, until at last finding her soul mate—her “complementary half”—as made evident in the chorus, “Heaven on Earth [needless to say, there’s a lot of heaven and Earth talk throughout Sincerely,] may fade away/But you and I are forever to stay in love/‘Cause I don’t care about much anymore, it’s just us.”
The lulling sound of the backing track (co-produced by Uchis and d4vd) doesn’t mean that Uchis wants her listener to fall asleep when she delivers such poignant messages as, “And money isn’t thе root/Of evil these days, it’s attention.” As in, the collective obsession with getting attention from others (mainly strangers)—sometimes billed as the “attention economy”—via various internet-powered platforms is yet another modern “convenience” that has sucked the life out of romance and love. Out of genuine caring.
Something that Uchis shows even more of on “For: You,” perhaps her most forcefully loving song on Sincerely,. As such, the lyrics, “Tell me what’s on your mind/For you, I’d die a thousand times/Find you in every life” are surely something Chelsea of The White Lotus could appreciate. After all, she did tell Rick, “I’ll follow you into the next life, and the next. You’ll never get rid of me.” It’s the kind of promise that has a certain The Runaway Bunny undertone. And, talking of mothers that will never abandon their children/love them with an unconditional ferocity, while “For: You” might read as “romantic” to some listeners, there’s no denying it’s another ode to her newborn son. Most notably when she declares, “And just as constant as the air I breathe/I’d do anything to keep my baby safe/Whatever it takes/Love is a gun/I’ll bite the bullet/Wasn’t that enough for you?/I’d do it again/Somehow, it’s good for the soul/Yeah, if I could/I’d bite the bullet/What I would do, it’s all for you” (a Del Rey-meets-Janet Jackson saying, that).
As for the abovementioned Amy Winehouse influence (all unbridled earnestness and undying devotion) on the sound and lyrics of the record, it’s manifest most specifically in the verse, “For you, I’d wrap my heart around you, there’s no greater love.” Winehouse fans of course know that she has a song called “(There Is) No Greater Love,” during which she makes similar pronouncements: “There is no greater love/Than what I feel for you/No sweeter song/No heart so true/There is no greater thrill/Than what you bring to me/No sweeter song/Than what you sing, sing to me/You’re the sweetest thing/That I’ve ever known/And to think that you are mine/You are mine alone.”
While Winehouse was referring to one of her early flames, Uchis is talking about her literal baby here. And the fact that Uchis wrote this album during her pregnancy and postpartum depression period (as Britney Spears essentially did with Blackout) adds another layer of, that’s right, sincerity to her assurance, “And long as blood is running through my veins/Even in the afterlife, I’ll always keep/My baby safe.” The full-circle poetry of that line also applying to how Uchis’ mother is now in the afterlife (hopefully) keeping her baby safe.
Switching back to the other “love muse” in her life—Don Toliver—on “Silk Lingerie,” Uchis goes for an ultra-sultry R&B sound (co-produced by Uchis and Vegyn) as she affects what she calls “really mermaid-y, very siren, very haunting, very dark” vocals. Further adding, “I’ve seen people on TikTok saying, it’s giving Lana, I definitely agree.” Or, as she says quite matrimonially at the beginning of the song, “I do, yeah, I do, yeah, I do.” It’s indeed, from this moment onward that “Silk Lingerie,” serves up something akin to a mash-up of Del Rey’s “Yayo” and “Million Dollar Man.” The lyrics of the latter, “I don’t know how you convince them and get them, babe/I don’t know what you do, it’s unbelievable/And I don’t know how you get over, get over/Someone as dangerous, tainted and flawed as you,” also undeniably channel Uchis’ verse, “Tell me, how do you do it?/Wish everyone was perfect as you/How did you fall for someone complicated and flawed as me?/I don’t know how you do it.”
Bleeding into “Territorial” as though the two songs are one (think: Lady Gaga’s “Chromatica II” into “911”), the song gradually distinguishes itself with a piano-tinged rhythm that allows Uchis to paint a picture for a rival trying to steal her man. It’s very much Uchis’ version of Tate McRae’s “Miss Possessive” as she boasts and warns, “But at least I never been the/Type to want someone else’s man, see/You should know what’s mine is mine/Don’t try and pretend to be my friend/‘Cause I see you for what you are, your/Desperation’s gone too far/At first, it was just laughable/Now you’re getting me out of character.” During another moment in the song, Uchis conjures lyrical comparisons to Ariana Grande’s “True Story” (“I’ll play the villain if you need me to/I know how this goes, yeah/I’ll be the one you pay to see, play the scene/Roll the cameras please”) when she sings, “That’s cool, yeah, it’s cool/I’ll be a villain in your story/You can play the victim too.”
In keeping with the vacillating, pendulum-swinging gamut of love-related emotions (which of course extend to jealousy and rage) on Sincerely, Uchis returns to an opposite (less “claws out”) part of the spectrum for “Fall Apart,” which explores a somewhat similar theme to “Silk Lingerie,” in that Uchis questions whether a man can love someone as flawed and “messy” as herself. In short, she’s seeking the kind of love that (supposedly) only a mother can give from the man (or woman) that’s with her. Although she insists that she knows her boo loves her in this way, she still can’t help but ask, “Do you love me even when I get difficult?/Do you love me even when I’m down and out?/Do you love me even when I’m not prettiest?/Do you love me for my mind, my soul and heart?” She then answers her own slew of queries with, “I know you do, I know you do/I know you do, yeah, I know you do.” Something in those question-and-answer lyrics again harkening back to Del Rey, namely when she sings, “Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?/I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will.”
Uchis’ confidence level picks up with more gusto on the doo-wop-infused “All I Can Say.” But perhaps that’s because it once again seems to be an ode to her baby boy (despite its lyrical content being perfectly “serviceable” as an ode to a romantic interest as well). The person who leads her to announce, “All I can say/Is that you belong with me/And a dreamer should dream/How else would dreams turn reality?” That last pair of lines not only relates to the jazz pop staple that is “Dream a Little Dream of Me” (a song that Del Rey, too, has referenced), but also to Uchis’ aforementioned commitment to following her dreams—even in the face of those older women at the grocery store trying to tear her down and tell her she would never succeed.
As though responding to them now, in the lyrics of this song, Uchis continues, “And my peace of mind/No, it will not be destroyed/By lost souls on the decline/Who only strive to divide/No, I’m not sorry for the way that I am/I’m not sorry for the way that I love or the heart that I have/No, I’m not sorry for the dreams that I dream/Or the life that I live ‘cause it all belongs to me.” You can’t really say fairer than that.
Except that Uchis does still have fairer to say than that on “Daggers!,” another “protector’s anthem” that was inspired by a friend of hers in a shitty relationship. Of the sort that many women are familiar with—for a too-vast percentage seems incapable of leaving the man that treats them so badly. In truth, only treats them all the worse the more that the woman in question treats them with affection and kindness in return.
So it is that Uchis bemoans, “I hate the way that hе treats you/Too dumb to know what he’s got/You’re just too loyal, too sweet/You lay yourself at his feet/And tell me, all for what?/Well, you keep crying on the phone to me/How can I tell you to leave/A hundred thousand times?/I wish you saw yourself the way I see you/Wish you could see yourself through my eyes” (or, as Ari put it, “I love to see me from your point of view”). Alas, there’s only so much convincing and “talking down from the ledge” a girl can do before she finally gives up on the friend that just won’t or can’t seem to leave her horrendous boyfriend (*cough cough* Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse).
Uchis shifts from having concern for a close friend to concern for the world at large on the Marvin Gaye-esque (in the spirit of “What’s Going On?”) “Angels All Around Me…” Even more overtly than “Lose My Cool,” “Angels All Around Me…” is two songs in one, with the first part more focused on the personal, and the second more focused on the global. Showing gratitude for the unseen angels that have protected her throughout her life (even when it might not have appeared that way), Uchis gushes, “Who knew life could be/So sugary sweet?” (or, as Del Rey would put it, “Now my life is sweet like cinnamon”). She also sees the divine in the love she’s been given (through her son and boyfriend), realizing, “Rejection was the highest protection/You pushed me in the right direction/And you showed me what wasn’t true love/Then you sent some from above/And now I know/What love is.” And what it is, to Uchis, has nothing to do with what Jenny Cavilleri in Love Story claimed (that it’s never having to say you’re sorry). Instead, Uchis proffers, “Love is action/Making things happen/Love is compassion/Lifting you up when/Life ever lets you down/Making my soul smile/Trust when you’re not around/You’re still safe and sound/‘Cause you’re not alone.”
In the second half of the song, Uchis proves that not only has she ostensibly studied under the Michael Jackson school of lyricism (“Gotta be the change you wanna see/Baby, hold my hand and let us pray… Every night and every day… Let us pray/For the children every single day/Let them play/Let them sing and laugh infinitely”), but that she has more viable solutions to all the chaos in the world than any fear-mongering politician. And one of those solutions is: “We don’t gotta understand each other/We just gotta let each other be.” Try telling that to the current U.S. administration.
On that note, “Breeze!” acts as a kind of balm for anxiety, and marks the first of two “weather songs” on the album. Even if it’s but another spiritual number in keeping with the tone of “Angels All Around Me…” To that point, Uchis insists, “Hand to my heart, I won’t forget to pray when I feel weak/Forgive them, for they know not what they do” (believe it or not, Lauryn Hill didn’t coin that phrase on “Forgive Them Father”). However, while some might hear Uchis as being “religiously preachy” on the song, the truth is, she’s touting love as the “religion” that everyone ought to adhere to. Or, as she summarized it with Beatles-esque succinctness, “Love will provide us with everything we need (it’s all that we need, love’s all we need)/Let it be easy as the breeze (easy as the breeze)/Let the love guide us, let love be all we need.”
Undoubtedly, it was all Uchis needed during that difficult period spent living out of her car. And yet, in a certain sense, living without it (or at least seeming to) for all that time is part of what gave her the drive (no pun intended) to excel in her chosen métier. Something that her parents could only accept later, after Uchis could prove her dreams were reality, not fantasy. As for mending the relationship with her mother before her death, the most glaring tribute Uchis gives to Betsy Loaiza Boteler is in the second “weather song” of the album, “Sunshine and Rain…” in that it actually features a snippet of her voice at the beginning (sweetly saying, “Good morning, sunshine”). As the highly “groovable” lead single of Sincerely, it cuts to the core of the album’s message. One that basically tells us what Dolly Parton did long ago: “If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” Or, if you want “somebody that makes the Earth feel heavenly” (that’s right, more heaven and Earth imagery), you gotta put up with a few douchebags. Until finally a non-douche leads you to feel comfortable enough to spawn with him.
And that’s where the finale track, “ILYSMIH,” comes in. For this is the song that Uchis believes best sums up motherhood for her (not least of which is because the song came to her while she was still in the hospital bed after giving birth). Just as Madonna before her with Ray of Light’s “Little Star,” “ILYSMIH” is a gushing tribute to a firstborn child giving a new mother her first experience of what unconditional love truly feels like (and what would such a song be without including some audio of the baby’s voice à la Beyoncé with Blue Ivy on “Blue”?). So it is that Uchis proclaims, “My baby made me realize that nothing else even matters [side note: “Nothing Really Matters” is a Ray of Light track]” before then crooning the swelling chorus, “Ooh, I love you so much it hurts/And I can’t stop the tears, my baby’s really here/Ooh, I love you so much it hurts/He showed me what my life was really worth/Down here on Earth/And it hurts, it hurts, it hurts/I love you so much, I love you so much it hurts.” But like, hurts so good…you know?
Leaving her listeners on that rather emotionally eviscerating note, it’s worth remembering one of the verses from the first song on the album, “Heaven is a Home…” It’s at the end of said track that Uchis delivers a thesis statement, of sorts: “This is a story of a girl/Who was once imprisoned by her own mind/And freedom’s never felt this good.” Because only when one is free from the prison of their mind (and its many potential toxic thoughts) are they free to love in the purest form. Whether that’s as a mother, lover or any role in between.
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