There are some who still say Taurus season kicks off on April 19th, ostensibly in the wake of that whole controversy circa 2016 when NASA said it discovered a new constellation—a “thirteenth zodiac.” But while the heavens continue to shift, and the constellations with them, everyone would do well to remember that astronomy isn’t astrology (at least, not anymore). And like Taureans themselves, the dates of the zodiac are fixed. Staunch Taureans (as most of them are) know that the true dates are from April 20 to May 20 (plus if Aries season ends on the 19th, then, na, you can’t classify that date as being in Taurus’ realm). Incidentally, one of the most Taurean of all Tauruses, Cher, just barely makes the cutoff for being part of the sign’s coterie of decadent divas (among the ranks are also included, all too expectedly, Queen Elizabeth II, Barbra Streisand, Janet Jackson and Grace Jones).
Yet regardless of coming at the tail end of the sign’s date jurisdiction, she ticks all the boxes for Taurean cliches and then some. For a start, Cher has remained ageless (despite all the cracks about her plastic surgery), fueling the long-held belief that being ruled by Venus—both the planet and the goddess—affects the Taurean ability to literally will looking perpetually “young and beautiful” (as Cancer Lana Del Rey would say). Their fixation on all things feminine, aesthetic and divine simply makes it so. Considering Cher initially became a household name as a result of her over-the-top costumes, famously designed by Bob Mackie (who else could fulfill Cher’s lust for luxury?), it was also this image of opulence that was ultimately fueled by her zodiac. She was elaborate and flamboyant at a time when, ironically, America’s population was at one of its lowest economic points—how Taurus is that? To shrug in the face of people embracing their poverty with drabness while they themselves continued to insist upon sparkling. Therefore, Cher and the “Sultan of Sequins” a.k.a. the “Rajah of Rhinestones” brought glamor to the world at a time when it was decidedly colorless and dreary.
Cher’s persistence in achieving her goal of becoming famous also smacks of the Taruean brand of stubbornness. At the outset of her struggle, she fell in with Phil Spector. Because avoiding Phil Spector when you were an aspiring musician in 1960s was as impossible as democracy in China, Cher ended up having her first single, “I Love You, Ringo,” produced by him under the pseudonym Bonnie Jo Mason. And it was all as a result of Sonny Bono’s connection to Spector, as he had been working for the hitmaker when Cher first met Sonny in late 1962. So it was that, even before she was Cher (a.k.a. Cherilyn Sarkisian), she still managed to seal her fate as a gay icon when the radio refused to play the song because of her deep vocals, assuming it was some kind of homo love letter to the least beloved Beatle, Ringo Starr.
As the decade wore on, Cher’s name started to become more well-known in connection to Sonny’s, and the two gradually rose up the charts as a pop duo by 1965, when their defining hit, “I Got You Babe,” was released in the summer. And it was only too appropriate that a Taurus like Cher should catch her big break peddling a wistful anthem of monogamy—the only part not ringing true being that a Taurus can’t live on love alone; eventually, she’s going to need her luxuries. It would seem another Taurean trait that Cher was quick to get so intensely monogamous with what would ultimately turn out to be her one great love. For a Taurus might have plenty of loyalty to give, but there’s always just that “one” they gave their all to.
It was also in classic Taurus form to be unfalteringly square at one of the heights of sexual revolution on this planet (the only other height in history perhaps being the orgies of ancient Rome). While others were touting free love and swinging, Sonny and Cher stood out for being fiercely monogamous. And anti-drug, to boot. But why would a Taurus sully her body with such things (rando dick included)? Sonny, an Aquarius (the only other sign least compatible with Taurus besides Leo), didn’t seem to get the memo, and himself decided to take part in the free love mantra of the day, which nearly cost him Cher. And that would have been quite bad for his meal ticket in the 70s, when The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour (not to be confused with the Lucy Desi Comedy Hour), and, post-divorce, The Sonny & Cher Show, aired.
In the end, it was Sonny fucking with Cher’s bag too much that naturally led her to finally file for divorce proceedings, calling Sonny’s treatment of her talent as “involuntary servitude.” It was likely this period that Cher drew upon for “Strong Enough,” the 1999 single (that smacks of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”) from her Believe album, during which she declares, “On being used, I could write the book.” It all speaks to the Taurean rage that can be spurred when slighted—and then inevitably pushed toward seeking vengeance. Of course, the Taurean dichotomy is that, because of their intense feelings of l’amour (perhaps matched only by the intensity that Pisces can deliver), they also experience the regret and longing that arises from their constant bouts with nostalgia (which tends to romanticize even the worst qualities in people/exes). Hence, one of Cher’s greatest hits being “If I Could Turn Back Time”—which is arguably the most Taurean sentiment ever rendered to an artistic format, for no other sign is as doleful regarding the past, nor even half as in touch with it.
“All Or Nothing” is another quintessential Taurean sentiment. Discussing this particular zodiac sign’s problems with all-consuming love and obsession, she declares, “And I’ve been trying to get to your heart/But I’m chasing shadows/We keep falling further apart/So near and you’re so far/Do you care now?/Do you know how?” For the average Taurus, a display of caring can never be too grandiose, conveyed in money (via tangible trinkets) and time spent. That’s why Cher asserts, with that BTE (Big Taurus Energy), “Baby, it’s all or nothing now/Don’t wanna run and I can’t walk out/You’re breaking my heart if you leave me now/Don’t wanna wait forever/Who do you think you’re fooling?” Cher then delivers the Taurean coup de grâce in expressing her overpowering emotions, “Sometimes when you touch me/I just can’t help myself/Desire makes me weak.” Yes, desire is well-known Taurean kryptonite. Just look at their endless barrage of possessions if you want proof of that.
Then, of course, there is her Taurean thesis statement on survival and longevity in the face of heartache and constant struggle (and for the Taurus, that can usually mean simply being relegated to this ghetto Earth). That is to say: “Believe.” A quintessential song that proves, for as much as the Taurus loves love, they know that the only abstraction more important is endurance… the ability to find beauty in other (material) things life has to offer.
