Esmerelda Gosling & The Celebrity Stable of Children

Perhaps fortuitously sharing a birthday with 2 Chainz (September 12th), Esmerelda Gosling, the daughter of Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling, rounds out a seemingly never-ending arsenal of celebrity children born during the past few years. From Blue Ivy Carter and North West to Prince George and Ryder Robinson, the plethora of babies spawned from famous people of late begs the question: Will we all have to deal with their fucked-upedness later on in life?

Salt of the earth parents (one hopes)
Salt of the earth parents (one hopes)
Let’s use as a gauge Chastity Bono, now Chaz Bono. As the daughter/son of Sonny and Cher, it was, one may suppose inevitable that a sexual identity crisis would be afoot. Or if you want to go for the more straight up psychological side of things, take a gander at Julian and Sean Lennon. Even Madonna’s non-adopted children, Lourdes and Rocco, are bound to start showing signs of emotional damage (just look at Madonna’s Oediapal Instagram shots of Rocco).
Madonna & Rocco: undeniably Oedipal
Madonna & Rocco: undeniably Oedipal
So why, one might ask, do celebrity children always seem to end up, well, crazy? Is it the artistic nature of their parents that infiltrates their genes and makes them wild/depressive? Or is it never having any sort of snapshot of how “normal” people live? It’s difficult to know for certain what the cause of a celebrity child’s psychosis is, but one can only hope that the salt of the earth parenting of Ryan Gosling and the non-white background of Eva Mendes can help keep Esmerelda under control. But then again, as much as I hate to say it, I can definitely see her developing an Electra complex. How could you not when your dad is Ryan Gosling?