Tarantino for Los Angeles Mayor

There is no man more suited to the duties of Los Angeles mayor than Quentin Tarantino. His last name even has a semi-Latino vibe that could easily dupe this particular constituency into trusting him. And while Tarantino is not originally from California, he already knows everything that matters to it: Aesthetics, music, drugs, violence and the occasional witticism.

There is no better prerequisite for Los Angeles mayor than an Oscar
There is no better prerequisite for Los Angeles mayor than an Oscar

Not only is Tarantino’s knowledge of Los Angeles an asset, but one would also expect him to implement the same political strategies exhibited in his films. For instance, the vitriolic vengeance of Beatrix Kiddo would serve L.A. well against outside antagonists wishing to limit the water and weed supply.

His shirt clearly exemplifies his readiness to be mayor
His shirt clearly exemplifies his readiness to be mayor

And, should he choose to take a wife to join him in the Getty House, one would expect nothing less than a woman with the roguish charms of Alabama from True Romance. Together, the two would be an impossible tour de force rallying for higher minimum wage and public shootouts. Unlike prior mayors, including Antonio Villaraigosa, Tarantino would pander to no one, serving out his own vigilante justice and legislation–all while choosing the perfect soundtrack to do it to.