Mariah: Diva or Visionary About That $50 Million Inconvenience Fee? The Latter.

When a woman looks back on her romantic past, she’ll inevitably notice that, yes, she’s been terribly inconvenienced. Whether she moved somewhere else for the man in question (like Mariah herself) or sacrificed her needs and desires in some other way to be “accommodating,” there isn’t a female in existence who has not, at least once, been more than slightly aggravated by the then man in her life.

This rather egregious phenomenon of a woman “compromising” or being “adaptable”–even when she’s Mariah Carey–simply to, in her mind, secure the longevity of a relationship is not only foolish, but, at this point in time, completely outdated. Because men feel very little obligation to stick around for anything the way they used to until, say, around the 1970s when divorce first became chic, maybe Mariah is on to something with this notion of an “inconvenience fee.” Something very different than a divorce settlement or alimony, the concept ensures that, at the very least, if a woman has put in a significant time with her temporary boyfriend, she can be guaranteed the recompense necessary to sustain her aging husk so that she might potentially attract someone else who will again fuck her over, give her some money and continue the cycle.

Some might say, “But hey, isn’t this like a glorified form of whoredom?” No, not really. It’s merely like having a relationship insurance policy for those who can never seem to make it to the marriage stage. After all, living with someone these days is practically tantamount to marriage anyway since everyone is so damn skittish about commitment and how it will affect their full life of aloneness.

While many are scandalized by the gall of Mariah to demand the money that was promised to her in the unsigned prenup, there’s no denying that the abruptness of his breakup and the embarrassment it has caused her is probably worth more of a payoff. Which is why she’s also asking for him to buy her a new mansion in New York. You see, if men can’t given women love, can they at least give them something useful? In James Packer’s case, that’s money–and hopefully decent fodder for Mariah’s World.