L’amour N’existe Pas: The Dissolution of Chris Pratt and Anna Faris

In truth, we might have all seen this coming with couples like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but even the breakup of Brangelina might not have been as blindsiding as the dissolution of love between comedically tailored couple Chris Pratt and Anna Faris. Their “joint statement,” made under Chris Pratt’s Facebook fan page, showed solidarity to the end, at least–perhaps a sign that even Americans are capable of being French in remaining “close” with their exes.

After meeting on the set of the underrated comedy, Take Me Home Tonight, in 2007 (though the film wouldn’t be released until 2011), Pratt bandied the term “divine intervention and destiny.” The two were married in 2009 and had a son in 2012, possibly proving that a child is more of a pickax than a Band-Aid when it comes to sustaining l’amour. Assuring the Pratt/Faris fandom, “We still have love for each other, will always cherish our time together and continue to have the deepest respect for one another,” Pratt’s announcement comes at a somewhat suspect time.

After all, he’s gone from goofy supporting character on Parks and Recreation to full-fledged Hollywood leading man with the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise. Faris, meanwhile, has been forced to parody herself in cameo form in Keanu as the drug-addled C-rate celebrity who ends up dying for her fix. While, sure, it was a comical appearance, it wasn’t followed up with a much better indication of where she’s at in her career (providing a voice in The Emoji Movie). The disparate paths of their star power at the moment surely can’t be conducive to the sustaining of romance. And, let’s be honest, Pratt might want to cash in on his newfound status with, to be blunt, a fresher pussy. Faris, hopefully, will use this abrupt singledom to reinvigorate her filmography, even if it means a sequel to Smiley Face. All that can be said for sure is, Take Me Home Tonight predicted all of this.