You Can Take My Dollar Pizza Away From Me When You Pry It From My Cold, Dead Hands

The people and news outlets of New York City have a tendency to get very uppity about different causes at various points throughout the week. The latest? The case against 2 Bros. pizza and its employees class action lawsuit for being overworked and underpaid. With everyone from Gothamist to Brooklyn Magazine slamming the business for its practices, I would like to stand alone as its sole advocate.

Apart from the standard bitching about the need for raising the minimum wage (way to set the precedent, California), which doesn’t seem to take into account that food-related businesses find it difficult enough to break even, let alone profit, 2 Bros. is accused of taking advantage of their workers by paying a flat weekly rate regardless of how many hours worked. What’s the solution here? Don’t work more hours than you want to.

Furthermore, why has it taken this long for legal measures against the NYC pizza empire to arise if the workers have been this disaffected? In addition to the demand for backpay on the 2 Bros. plaintiffs’ behalf, this lawsuit is also probably going to mean a hike in the once untouchable $1 pizza price, signaling the true death of any modicum of affordability in New York.

If 2 Bros. is expected to pay $10 million in what it owes to its employees and pay them more, there’s no chance for the $1 slice. So do I feel sorry for the 2 Bros. workers? Not quite. They’ve taken away the last vestige of what has made this city great, and it’s all because they wouldn’t just work for fewer hours (ironically, working too much is the primary entity that makes this city the worst).