There Was Already A Gloriously Trashy TV Movie About Madonna’s Early Days So What Are We Doing With Blond Ambition From Universal?

Though it may have been low-budget and low-caliber acting, much of the frequently forgotten about 1994 TV movie, Madonna: Innocence Lost (which aired on Fox, mind you, not Lifetime), proves to be highly detailed in its recounting of how Madonna got to the top, as well as her many daddy issues that spurred her desire to rebel from an early age.

And yet, because Hollywood tends to have Alzheimer’s when it comes to remembering that none of its ideas are original, a project that was at the top of 2016’s Black List (I don’t need to explain that term to you if you want to be in film like everyone else), Blond Ambition, about, once again Madonna’s early days, has been acquired by Universal–the production company now best known for bringing Fifty Shades of Grey to the silver screen.

What’s more, another far more well-researched, close-to-the-people-she-actually-knew-back-then film called Emmy and the Breakfast Club will feature Madonna “re-enactments” by Jamie Auld, who looks pretty similar based on the stills that have been released. And yet, the script, penned by Elyse Hollander (who has thus far only released three shorts, which you know Madonna isn’t thrilled about–but at least she’s a woman), is going forward with the aid of producers Michael De Luca and Brett Ratner (which seems a particular blow to M considering his friendship and music video history with known shade thrower Mariah Carey).

Whether fans will be interested or not could depend on Madonna’s own take on the project, a to the point assertion with a Polaroid from said early days attached: “Nobody knows what I know and what I have seen. Only I can tell my story. Anyone else who tries is a charlatan and a fool. Looking for instant gratification without doing the work. This is a disease in our society.”

But at least the film’s creators spelled Blond Ambition correctly, in the way it was for the seminal 1990 tour of the same name that Madonna endured many a lashing for. And even if this movie does turn out to have some merit, there’s no denying what fans really want to see: the biopic about her marriages to Sean and Guy. Or maybe Ryan Murphy can just make Feud seasons for those as well.