On what would have been Kurt Cobain’s forty-seventh birthday, it seems pertinent to consider how the demigod of grunge would have instructed you to best live your life. Here are some ways for you to emulate Kurt’s unique approach to existence.
Never let anyone call you “the spokesman of a generation.” It’s just way too much pressure, especially when you’re supposed to be a slacker.
Never leave the Pacific Northwest.
Don’t ever wear anything other than flannel and denim, ever.
Take heroin in small doses.
Use your resentment toward your parents as artistic fuel.
Tantalize others by confusing them with your sexuality and that you “could probably be bisexual.”
The Beatles are life.
Meet your soul mate at a Butthole Surfers concert.
Champagne and Rohypnol is a perfectly acceptable form of Nyquil.
Kill yourself.
I’m working on the last one