The Cuntiest Disney Villains

While Disney has a somewhat sexist slant when it comes to portraying women (you’re either an angelic twit or a demonic bitch, kind of like the virgin or the whore paradigm), it has still been a source of entertainment to watch the various female antagonists they’ve created over the years come to life on the screen to terrify the shit out of you.

Maleficent: unapologetic bitch
Maleficent: unapologetic bitch

Maleficent: Although Maleficent gets a touching origin story in the Angelina Jolie version of the film, she comes across as a full-fledged wretch in the original animated version of Sleeping Beauty. Billed as the Mistress of all Evil, Maleficent puts a curse on the happy-go-lucky Princess Aurora when she is a baby so that she will ultimately prick her finger on a spinning wheel and fall into an eternal slumber (kind of a polite way of saying she’s dead). The only loophole is that the kiss of her true love will awaken her from her slumber. Maleficent’s cynicism regarding love is, in part, her motive for making this Aurora’s only way out.

Class A cunt
Class A cunt

Lady Tremaine: Another elegant and poised seeming woman, Lady Tremaine is the pinnacle of a castrating bitch masquerading as a dainty and delicate female. After luring in Cinderella’s father to marry her and take on her two daughters as well, Lady Tremaine gradually begins to show her true colors, finally letting them shine fully after Cinderella’s father dies. Most recently, she has been rendered with careful cuntery by Cate Blanchett.

Resting bitch face
Resting bitch face

Queen Grimhilde: Better known as the icy queen in Snow White, Queen Grimhilde is a hyper-surreal version of all aging women obsessed with remaining young and beautiful. She takes out her anger over not being “the fairest of them all” on youthful, pure, unblemished Snow White, a constant source of contempt–there to remind her of her wilting, withering body.

Skin-ny bitch
Skin-ny bitch

Cruella De Vil: Fur wearers: the epitome of bitches. De Vil takes her lust for animal skins to the next level with her determination to create a coat made out of dalmatians.

Red hot hair and ready to pounce
Red hot hair and ready to pounce

Madame Medusa: What’s worse than a pawn shop owner? A pawn shop owner who is Madame Medusa. In her role in The Rescuers, the fiery-haired “pistol” loves money and possessions, and will do just about anything to get her hands on them–is it any wonder this movie came out so close to that decade of excess known as the 80s?

Androgynous
Androgynous

Queen of Hearts: “Who’s been painting my roses red?” always had a decidedly sexual connotation. But don’t get it twisted, the Queen of Hearts has far baser pursuits on her mind than a little hanky panky–you know, like beheading people.

Every evil bitch has to have minions
Every evil bitch has to have minions

Ursula: Although based off warm and fuzzy John Waters and drag staple Divine, the purple-skinned sea witch in The Little Mermaid is ruthless, cunning and only willing to “help” other sea creatures if it benefits her. Her two eel minions, Flotsam and Jetsam, assist in carrying out her bidding, you know, capturing human souls and voices and shit.

No matter who you feel is the cuntiest of them all on this list, suffice it to say that you wouldn’t want to tango with any of them without reinforcements, probably those of the animal variety.

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  1. Pingback: War of the Stepmother Bitches: Anjelica Huston vs. Cate Blanchett | Culled Culture

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