Saint West Is Probably the Antichrist

It’s one thing to name your Mexican, Spanish or South American baby Jesus, it’s quite another to name your black/Armenian Los Angeles-born child Saint. In yet another bid to shock and amaze the masses, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have outdone themselves in bequeathing their latest spawn with a moniker befitting, well, a saint.

Not that Kimye’s second-born child and first male addition to the family wasn’t going to be fucked from the outset (the kid has Oedipus complex written all over him), but to compound his issues by naming him in such a way is only going to make matters worse for us all.

Obviously, he’ll have a reality show before he hits puberty (barring his congenital cameos on Keeping Up With the Kardashians), and he’ll have already discovered all the best drugs and designers long before age ten. So it really couldn’t be more ironic of a name pick for someone who will likely have no intention of going the Mother Teresa route with so much available cash and pussy (or dick, if and when he turns out to be bi) at his disposal.

Moreover, even if Saint West renounces all of his wealth, saves North from getting yet another abortion and cures [insert cancer name here], he will always represent the grotesque culture of now–and it’s all thanks to his wonderful parents.