“Respectful, Loving Space” Is the New “Conscious Uncoupling” Thanks to Katy Perry & Orlando Bloom

Though Orlando Bloom seemed like the perfect sexually appetitive boyfriend based on those photos of him grabbing Katy Perry’s tits like a preteen boy just discovering a real woman for the first time, it could very well have been his somewhat unusual penis that ultimately left Perry cold. Whatever the true cause behind their recent breakup, the only thing that’s certain is that they’re clearly trying to one-up the absurdity of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s separation vocabulary term, “conscious uncoupling.”

Rather than fully admit that their ten months together has come to a finite close, the duo is instead insisting on either 1) going on a break, Ross and Rachel style (except both are aware of the break) or 2) that they’re one of the few celebs capable of an amicable split. The dubiousness of the information is enhanced by reps for the pop singer and movie star commenting, “We can confirm that Katy and Orlando are taking respectful, loving space at this time.”

Although the two were spotted as recently together as Sunday, Feb. 26th at Madonna’s famed Oscar party, it seemed as though breaking up was merely a natural part of business as usual come Wednesday–a day after the news dropped–when Perry posted an update about her album’s fellow “coo-coo” collaborators (even though, yes, it’s “cuckoo”). Bloom’s career also looked to be carrying him forward with the release of a new trailer for the latest installment of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Lies.

As each party goes on with their respective lives–which look to be highly career-oriented at the moment–will this “respectful, loving space” eventually and inevitably turn to a rude, hating one? And, most importantly, is this occurrence at all related to a karmic wallop against Perry for belittling Britney Spearsiconic head shaving?

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