Regina George As A Better Version of Caesar

As any Mean Girls enthusiast knows, Gretchen Wieners (Lacey Chabert) once saliently compared Regina George to Julius Caesar. And, in truth, Regina would have far surpassed Caesar as a brilliant dictator. It isn’t just that she has the facade of an innocent blonde girl to make people believe she would never do wrong in her favor, it’s also her undercover cutthroat nature that works to her advantage.

Regina: Much more meme-able than Caeser--automatically making her more powerful
Regina: Much more meme-able than Caeser–automatically making her more powerful
Like all great leaders, Caesar and Regina have their devoted legions of followers. But the “weak link in the chain,” as Janis Ian would say, is their mutual cause for demise (except Regina only has a minor setback as opposed to total eradication). Regina also bears similarities to Caesar in that she accomplishes a complete military coup over her dominion (though the military coup was performed with the spreading of gossip and the application of makeup rather than any conquests by violent force–unless you count the secret three-way call as a form of violence).
Kicking ass and calling names
Kicking ass and calling names
However, where Caesar and Regina differ in their governing styles is that Regina would never allow her judgment to get so clouded so as to allow herself to be completely taken in by one of her best friends (the way Caesar did with Brutus). Sure, she might falter in letting herself get briefly fat as a result of being duped, but her eye on the popularity prize never closes long enough to lose total control.

Had Regina been in Caesar’s place on that fateful March 15th when Brutus and his traitorous statesmen came up from behind to stab him, Regina would have retaliated with, at the bare minimum, a lacrosse stick bashing.