On Morrissey’s Deathbed

The recent (tear-jerking) reports that Morrissey has cancer has led one to wonder: what would Morrissey say/admit to on his deathbed? Would he be fanciful and witty like Oscar Wilde? Or utterly unapologetic like James Joyce? Hopefully, we won’t know the answer any time soon, but in the meantime, one can speculate.

Expired
Expired
On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will sing an acapella version of “Asleep.”

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will request Johnny Marr’s presence for an unbridled show of affection.

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will say the exact same last words as Wilde: “Alas, I am dying beyond my means.”

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will finally give in to eating meat.

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will admit he likes Madonna’s music.

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will kiss Stephen Street on the mouth.

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will ask to wear a leather jacket as he expires.

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will read a copy of NME.

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will renounce his love for Los Angeles.

On Morrissey’s deathbed, he will thank his fans for their continued devotion.