Lady Gaga & Starbucks: Proof that Corporate Merging Is the Only Way to Get People to Shell Out for a “Good Cause”

The current collaboration between Lady Gaga and Starbucks surprisingly has nothing to do with the corporation selling an exclusive pressing of her music (not that it sells music in quite the same way anymore), so much as culling their powers of whoredom together for a “good cause.” That is, getting a portion of any proceeds garnered from Gaga’s sanctioned specialty drinks, Matcha Lemonade and Violet Drink, from June 13th through 19th to go toward her very own Born This Way Foundation.

“Generously” contributing an entire twenty-five cents from every cup of the aforementioned type of drink sold, this fragment of the sales from what’s being dubbed Cups of Kindness (which also includes the existing Pink Drink and Ombré Pink Drink) will go toward Gaga’s Channel Kindness initiative, an anti-bullying extension of what Born This Way Foundation is all about that aims to “identify, train and equip a corps of 50 youth reporters in communities across the country to train their eyes, ears, and hearts to find, recognize and report the acts of kindness that fill our daily lives.”

Sure, it sounds noble if not slightly hooey. After all, does one really need to train his or her eyes to “report” acts of kindness with money siphoned from Starbucks profits? Can’t you just, you know, not be an asshole without needing special funding? Or maybe just calm your ire for others with a delicious Unicorn Frappuccino?