Kanye West Should Stick To What He Knows–Kim Kardashian–Instead of David Bowie

A rumor perpetuated by tabloid The Daily Star citing Kanye West’s desire to create an album of David Bowie covers has prompted legions of people to rightly put the “star” in his place. While the report is unfounded, fans fearing its potential veracity signed a petition (as if those do anything) totaling 10,000 signatures to express their disdain for such an idea.

Clearly, if West ever did have the notion to pursue such a concept, he would risk a public flogging as Kim K looked on with the children in mock horror. And though the rapper/narcissist views his level of talent and influence more powerful than Jesus Christ’s, this preventive petition should surely indicate to him to stick to what he knows best: fashion labels, Jay-Z collaborations and fucking Kim Kardashian up the ass to immaculately conceive babies.

Even if the theoretical album possessed straightforward covers as opposed to mere “samplings,” nothing and no one could improve upon what David Bowie has contributed to music–even if that person in question believes himself to be God incarnate.