Dear Erin Gloria Ryan: You’re an Asshole

I get that being a middling writer for Jezebel can make you lash out against others you would like to place blame on for your own obscurity. And sure, it’s nothing if not vexatious when you’re so insignificant that Tumblr, Pinterest, etc. can’t even be bothered to credit you with the quote you created. Nonetheless, to take all of your suppressed anger and lay it on Madonna purely because she’s simply been doing what every other Tumblrer has done for the past three years since you wrote the article containing the aphorism is, to be blunt, delusional.

Excerpt from Ryan's article
Excerpt from Ryan’s article
At that rate, why not lambast Hillary Clinton herself, who is clearly social media-savvy enough to have seen the meme by now? Why not publicly begrudge her for not making a fucking public address stating, “Listen everyone, it was actually the lovely and talented Erin Gloria Ryan who said those wonderful words that have been attributed to me?” Because it seems like that’s what this is really about: you grappling with your own inconsequence.
What Madonna posted on her Instagram on International Women's Day
What Madonna posted on her Instagram on International Women’s Day
As for Madonna “spelling Hillary wrong,” have you never re-posted something from someone else that had a misspelling in it but were compelled to do so anyway because the quote was so resonant? It’s not as though Madonna typed the name out herself. She knows, like any good feminist, that Hillary has two Ls.
The picture that spawned the original article featuring Ryan's quote
The picture that spawned the original article featuring Ryan’s quote
Moreover, your misplaced vitriol goes off on an entirely unnecessary tangent. Why not just write a simple correction/setting the record straight article?/why has it taken you three years to say something in general, since Jezebel has clearly given you the platform to do so? Instead, you would prefer to condemn a woman who, as a result of becoming older, has been demonized by mass media for her looks. It’s somewhat antithetical to your original statement. But then, I suppose rage is what garners sufficient daily traffic.
Erin Gloria Ryan: loathes Madonna
Erin Gloria Ryan: loathes Madonna
While you chastise Madonna for “passing other people’s innovations off as her own,” isn’t that what most lauded artists of the twentieth century have done–from Picasso to Warhol? Believe it or not, there is a talent to culling all the best elements and transforming it into your own style. It’s why Salieri is only remembered because of Amadeus. He didn’t cull.
Madonna's "Living For Love," her detractors are not
Madonna’s “Living For Love,” her detractors are not
Finally, your snarky concluding sentence, “Stop using something I wrote to promote your goddamn album,” is extremely uninformed. She was promoting International Women’s Day–something I would think you would be all about. But at least you stayed true to your guns and didn’t make a comment about her looks in order to cut her down.

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