Barbie to be Re-Made in Diablo Cody’s Image

As we’ve already discussed many times, there’s no one quite as one-dimensional in the personality department as Barbie. But that might all finally change with a filmic rendering of everyone’s favorite plastic bitch. Whether or not it will be a live action movie remains to be seen, but what is known is that Diablo “Juno” Cody will be writing the script.

The pressure's on for Cody to re-write the Barbie movie
The pressure’s on for Cody to re-write the Barbie movie

Although Sony Pictures, the studio producing the project, has already had a draft of the story written by Jenny Bicks (of Sex and the City fame), Cody has been tapped to write her own version, which means that at long last, Barbie is going to get the cutting edge mind makeover she so desperately needs, and also that Jenny Bicks probably wants to kill herself right now.

Nicki Minaj has plenty of Barbie potential
Nicki Minaj has plenty of Barbie potential

Should the movie end up being live action, which it definitely should be, the casting potential could very well be a physical and emotional revamping goldmine depending on how snarky/campy Cody’s dialogue is. One imagines Chelsea Peretti or Nicki Minaj as just a few of the magical options for fulfilling the lead role. 

Barbie: Coming to a theater near you
Barbie: Coming to a theater near you

Apart from the hope for a lead actress that will shatter prior Barbie norms and expectations, one also prays that Cody will put Barbie in some slutty situations (e.g. a dalliance with stripping or, better yet, prostitution). But, ultimately, all that matters is Cody delicately toes the line between misogyny and misandry for the project.